Sad to Surprised

Sometimes I have days (or for weeks it seems) where I'm in a funk. There are days where I just want things to change, progress ... be DIFFERENT ... so badly, that I can get discouraged at times. I know we all have those days, just in regards to different situations.

When you have the realization that you truly have a vast knowledge bank and are doing everything you possibly can in regards to therapy, teaching, offering opportunities, etc for your sweet kiddo and not really getting what you desire? Its disheartening. When you realize that you virtually have every gadget and resource for where you are at on your journey with your sweet special needs daughter and there is nothing more you can do but keep doing what you are doing? Its disheartening. 

No matter what you tell yourself, you still keep hoping and praying for that magical thing to come along to make things "click" or "come together" and it may or may not happen.

So even though Justin's birthday was yesterday and it was a time for fun and celebration, I found myself sad and having sort of a little pity-party. I have had many consecutive nights with interrupted sleep, and yesterday was a day full of crying, whining, vomit and poo that were seriously disgusting and makes you sometimes wonder if you will ever feel better about things. The reality is that just when I think we've got a grip on things, something happens, changes or new things come up and having that feeling of the "rug pulled out from under you" is not ever welcoming.

When I laid Jocelyn down for her nap yesterday, I had such a heavy heart. When she woke up, I placed her on the edge of her bed just to see if she could sit on the mattress which of course is a squishy, soft surface and much harder to sit on (or at least its hard for someone that has cerebral palsy and muscle weakness). To my surprise, Boogie sat on the edge of her bed for at least 15 minutes (but I'm sure it was much longer). This is what she looked like the entire time we sang songs and read a few books.

{Front View: Isn't she the CUTEST??!!! Look at that stinky little face! She looks pleased with herself and loving my singing apparently ... either that, or she's laughing in my face at my rockin' voice! Ha! She looks like she's actually standing I think.}

{Side View: Yep! Still as cute as can be but you can see her sitting better here! She's in a sleeper because we went swimming before lunch and with it being so cold yesterday, I kept her in it for naptime to warm up!}

Needless to say, seeing her this way turned my whole day around! What a gift!