"I Know Different"

Once in a while I like to share letters, poems or stories on my blog because they have touched me in some special way.

 

Tonight, the poem below, brought me to tears ...

 

I KNOW DIFFERENT
by Tricia Proefrock

Dear mommy,

... I have felt your tears, falling on my face. Someone else might think they are tears of sadness, because of what I can't do...I KNOW DIFFERENT.

I know those tears pour from your heart out of gratitude for me, because of what I CAN do: I can love everyone in the purest form possible. Unconditionally. I can be judged, but will never judge in return. I know different because I feel, in your hugs and kisses, that I'm perfect just the way I am.

I have seen you hang your head down in shame, when we go out on adventures. Someone else might think you are ashamed of having a child like me...I KNOW DIFFERENT.

I know you are ashamed of the grown-ups who ignore me, yet talk happily to all the other children. The grown-ups who won't look you in the eye, but stare at me, when they think you don't see. I know different because I've seen the many, many more times you have raised your head up high, with pride, because I'm yours. : )

I have heard you whispering desperate prayers at night. Someone else might think you are asking God to make me a typical kid...I KNOW DIFFERENT.

I know you are thanking Him that I got to be here, with you, for another day- exactly how I am. I know different because I have heard you ask me never to leave you. And I have heard you cheer for me, every single day of my life- you tell me I don't need to be typical to be amazing, I just need to be here.

I know you have a big job, taking care of me. I know your body hurts, because I'm getting so big. I know that more than anything, you want to hear me say your name. And I know you worry that you aren't good enough, and that you will fail me...BUT I KNOW DIFFERENT MOMMY.

I know that even on your worst days, you will always be enough for me, and I will always love you more than you know. ♥

Day in the Life of Boogs

Yesterday Jocelyn and I had a super busy/active day, so I thought I'd share what a typical day looks like for us.

 

Unless of course we have appointments

- which we so often do -

or, if she is in a tremendous amount of pain like she is today :|

 

After we wake up {which is typically 4am, but I've been making her stay in bed until AT LEAST 6am} we eat breakfast, take a bath and then get dressed for the day.

{She loves the music and bubbles - we use colored or scented bubbles for that good 'ol sensory stuff - and apparently they are a tasty treat! haha Thank you again Donna Powers for the toy!! She was mesmerized by it yesterday!}

We start the morning off with something fun and physical like swinging!!

{Definitely a fav of hers}

{And THIS, is why I do all that I do!}

We spend time doing preschool stuff such as ...

{Sorting colors & working on some fine motor}

{Matching shapes and colors -- she LOVES the Mickey Mouse shapes as you can see!}

{Name recognition and writing}

{Working out in the stander while making choices from laminated cards &/or iPad to read or sing, pick desired songs like Itsy Bitsy Spider or Wheels on the Bus, etc}

{Practicing walking in the walker with the reward of window painting at the end}

{Using food to talk about colors -- Boogs had to taste them all hahaha The egg was hard boiled btw :P}

And of course we have downtime where we simply play with each other and toys ...



After nap time we try to do several fun, physical activities like ride the train around the house, swimming or since it was so nice yesterday, we got to go for a trike ride!

 

Boogs also gets story time in when daddy comes home so mama can cook supper and pick up a bit ...

 

The evenings end with general playtime, snuggles, cartoons and whatever else we find that's fun to fill the night with.

 

Does Jocelyn understand all the activities we do (ie the matching, colors, shapes, etc)?

 

I don't know.

 

It is very difficult for Jocelyn and she is often not able to tell or show me. But what I do know, is that if we don't practice, if we don't try, if I don't expose her to as much as I can ... then one thing is for certain ... she NEVER will!

 

Some days I get discouraged because I'd love for when I ask Boogs "show me the blue one" or "touch the square" that she would be able to do it without hesitation.

 

Maybe some day!

 

I also know, and sometimes have to continually remind myself, that when you have the combination of vision, motor and verbal issues -- it makes everything a thousand times more difficult.

 

My reward yesterday for all the hard work we did? Jocelyn looked at me right in the eyes for minutes on in. She has a problem with prolonged eye contact, and she kept looking right into my eyes, smiling and "talking" to me. I can't ever remember having that kind of intense moment visually with her and it was by far an experience I won't be forgetting! Eye contact can be very powerful and its something every mother loves and craves, but many never notice because their baby already "looks" at them.

 

That gift was better than any possession I could have on this Earth!

 

Today hasn't been such a great day. Boogs has been in a tremendous amount of pain and I can't figure out where it hurts, why it hurts or how to make her better as heat, a warm bath, massage, meds -- NOTHING -- is relieving her pain.

 

Its absolutely heart-breaking some days!!!

 

So even though today's been tough and relatively unproductive -- ITS OKAY!!!

 

I use to have a problem when we had down days, when I felt like one of us was being lazy, etc ... but I've learned that these "down days" are just as healthy ... just as necessary. When any other kid doesn't feel good, is tired or hurts; they get to do whatever they want throughout the day and my daughter deserves the same whether she can tell me that or not.

 

Hopefully tomorrow will be a great, new day -- and besides, Wednesday is swim night so it has to be good!!! :)

Precious Moments

I don't know if its because I decided to take the day off ...

{ie NO working out, NO cleaning, etc ... I realized today I have worked out 9 days in a row ... it was time for a day off!!}

... or the fact that by "taking the day off," I found myself with a lot of extra time on my hands. I could've been productive, but instead, I watched a lot of videos on Godvine. So many of the videos made me smile, laugh and even cry.

When something unexpectedly brings me to tears, I'm always so caught off guard and feel myself saying "Whoa, Whoa! Who suddenly turned on the waterworks???"

I got to thinking how my family has been dealt a difficult deck of cards and often times its easy to feel like they are stacked against you rather than in your favor. But I realized something today, its how YOU arrange them that makes this life beautiful and to not let what you've "been dealt" choose what life you live.

As I went into Boogie's room to wake her from her nap this afternoon, she was sleeping so peacefully, that I couldn't bare to wake her. So instead, I scooped her up in my arms, came into the living room and sat in the recliner. As I waited for her to slowly wake up, I found myself relishing every precious moment ... feeling her body move with each breath she took, how sweetly her hair and skin smelled, her warm breath on my face and how I could kiss her over and over.

{The bridge of her nose is my favorite spot to kiss her}

 

Before I could stop them, tears began to roll down my face!

All I could do was look at her, breath-in all of her essence and feel total, complete love and gratefulness for her!!! There was an overwhelming since of pride, joy and love for everything she is in this moment and for whats to come.

 

Every moment with her is quite literally so precious to me!

It doesn't matter what cards have been dealt ... I have my Jocie-Bear!!!

Week in Review

Lots has been happening around here this past week! Well, in our little corner of the world! :)

A mixture of play therapy ...

{Her face in the last picture cracks me up so much! Like she's saying "Moooom" haha}

Which is all so exhausting ...

A little roughhousing ...

Plenty of snuggles ...

Making some juice for the morning ...

{Apparently even the can tastes good & its fun to soak mamas shirt!}

and some plain 'ol bit of discovery time {inside the fridge no less!}  ...

{Kids get in the fridge all the time -- since JBoogs can't on her own, I thought it was time! First things she goes for? Bacon-n-Eggs! Good girl!}
--Also, for my past KDOA friends/co-workers and any other nursing friends, the syringe thats in the fridge, on the shelf, under the bacon? It sat there merely for a second, so no worries!

Hoping we do lots of the same stuff this week!

Enjoying this beautiful Sunday and I say ...

BRING ON A NEW AND EXCITING WEEK!!!

GoMighty.com

Go Mighty?
          What the heck is that?
                    If you're anything like me, you didn't know that this is a website which is designed for people who want to connect &/or collaborate to do something good for themselves and others.

Basically, Go Mighty helps a person, if they so desire, to create a "Life List" or "Life Goals" that they would like to accomplish or complete during their lifetime. They provide a mechanism to outline a persons goals and dreams, track their progress towards checking those items off that infamous list, challenges their personal status quo and all the while keeping the person inspired.

The awesome part? {as if this entire concept isn't awesome enough on its own}
          These personal goals can/could be funded through sponsorships, grants or donations!!!

Is that not absolutely fantastic??!!!

 

I want to introduce you to a beautifully, talented woman named Megan Peters. Among other things, Megan has a weblog {www.crazybananas.com -- and yes, she calls it a "weblog" because she's been doing it for nearly a decade!}, works in professional services marketing and is a phenomenal photographer, wife and mother.

 

As part of Megan's "Life List" on Go Mighty, she's accomplishing her goal to photograph 15 mothers by the end of January, and share a portion of their story in the effort to honor and display the essence of motherhood. The company Olay {you know, the mega company that makes facial products? haha} selected Megan's goal and decided to sponsor her, so if she completes her goal of photographing 15 mothers by the end of January, they will donate $500 to a women-focused charity of her choice!

LOVE!

So why am I telling you about all this?

My friend, Kristi Fogarty, recommended us to Megan to participate in her project.

 

Megan choose us as a "mother" candidate!

I feel so honored!!!

 

Here are some outtakes that she posted on her blog. Below you can see 4 of the 15 women photographed.

{In our picture, Jocelyn was making the choice to sing or read ... she clearly loves BOTH activities. For the final product, Megan selected a picture of us singing.}

Megan came to our house, photographed us playing and interacting, and posted the picture of her choice, along with our story, on the Go Mighty website.

 

Forewarning, she has been summarizing the women's stories to go along with the picture, but she decided to post mine in its entirety ... so its a little long.

 

{I get long winded -- I can't help it -- and its hard to put your life in a nutshell}

 

Here is the site where you can see our picture and read our "story" <-------- click here! :)

 

If you are interested, once you are on the website, you can click on the "My Goal" box that's located on the right-side of the screen and read about the other lovely ladies as well.

 

I loved participating in this special project, sharing about our lives and meeting a new friend.

 

Thank you Kristi for suggesting us to Megan, and to you Megan, you have an incredible talent and pure heart that is beautifully transparent. Thank you for selecting us to be apart of such a heart-felt, personal goal.

 

A picture of a mother with her child needs no words

 -- its speaks for itself --

and often tells the story of a relentless, true love!

Keeping with the Theme ...

... of Christmas in January, I FINALLY scanned Jocie's pictures that were taken with Santa during December.

Below, is the picture taken when we went to the Topeka mall to see Caring Santa. Although it was suppose to be a time where things were set up for the parents and children with special needs, it turned out to be pretty busted because it was anything but that. Very loud, choatic, rushed and all around not a good experience for Boogie as you can see.

I didn't think we would have a chance to see Santa again, but then luckily, our TARC family had their own Christmas party {I think they called it a "Holiday" or "Winter" party because well, they have to be politically correct ... yes, I just rolled my eyes! haha}.

 

I blogged about the party back in early December -- click here if you want to read about it! :)

 

Our TARC coach, and beautiful friend, brought us our copies that they took of Jocelyn with Santa.

Here ya go!

{This one makes me giggle! He truly was the best Santa I've ever seen -- so natural & loving}

And then of course we took this shot ...

{Thank goodness they gave us copies -- my camera just isn't fast enough some days!}

 A little off subject, but the best thing I came across this morning?

This beautifully, stunning picture of our sweet babygirl from this past Summer 2012



{I know every mother thinks their children are beautiful - as they should - but gosh, something about this photo just makes me feel like I'm looking at the face of an angel!}

 

Christmas in January

This last Saturday we finally celebrated Christmas together with the hubby's side of the family ... we waited for quite a while because Kevin, Justin's brother, was going to be home mid-January and this way we could celebrate with him.

The three of us headed over to Wichita early Saturday morning {always feels like such a long drive for some reason ... but its so far for people to come see us too!}, stopped by the mall real quick to look for some much needed jeans {that I STILL couldn't seem to find ... I don't have an odd size ... apparently just the popular size!} and then headed over to the sister-in-laws house.

We arrived to an already full house with Justin's mom, step-dad and grandparents there. The house was warm and smelled good of yummy homemade gumbo and cornbread {a definite plus since it was bitterly cold} ... made everything all the more inviting! I know I already said this on Facebook, but great job on lunch Aliene, it really was tasty!

Even though Jocelyn was tired, cranky and in desperate need of a nap;
          and even though it was a short visit with Justin's mom and grandparents;
                    It was fun to chat a bit, open presents and enjoy one anothers company!

Justin's granddad was the sweetest too -- he's always a hoot! I know some might not appreciate his humor, but I sure do. When I sat next to him, he told me that when he saw Justin walk through the door and "some girl" behind him, that his first thoughts were "who the hell is this new woman with my grandson ... I thought I was about to have his ass because I didn't think it was you." He's so funny! He told me he loved my new hairstyle and that I seemed like "a whole new woman."

Compliments are always nice to receive aren't they?

 

After round 1 of Christmas, us big kids sat around chatting, watching some TV and catching up with one another since it had been so long since we've spent time together. To be exact, it had been 2 1/2 years since we had last seen Justin's brother Kevin!!! Crazy huh? Far too long! We've missed you Kevin!!

Then later after Jocelyn's much needed long nap, Justin's dad and step-mom came over to spend time with all of us. After they got there and everyone got themselves dressed {more importantly -- we got the little monsters dressed! ha!} we all headed into Wichita to get family portraits made.

We weren't sure how Jocelyn would do with such a big group, it being later in the evening, in a strange place and lots of new noises; but she did surprisingly well. It was hard to grasp her attention at times, but between her having a hard time focusing and the Powers boys excessive blinking, we had some good laughs!!

Pictures really didn't take too long which is always nice. We started at 6pm, had them in our hands, and back at the house by 8pm-ish. Not too shabby huh?

Once we got back to the house we enjoyed yummy calorie-free pizza {I say it was calorie-free ... so it was}, hot wings and opened more presents. Between both sides of the family, Jocelyn made out like a bandit! She really is going to love all her books and clothes.

One of the most memorable parts of the day was after we took pictures {and I gulped down a big cafe latte from Panera}, was getting to see Ethan, my nephew, rock his dancing moves. I know my sister and brother-in-law wanted to kill me {they think I'm a bad influence about 99% of the time}, but everytime I'd say "shake it baby shake it" and lay down a beat for him, he would shake those hips and butt like nobody's business!! It truly was the most hilarious and cutest thing ever!! I shouldve gotten it on video or something because its bound to make anyone smile. And besides, it'd be awesome to use as blackmale later! haha I'm his aunt ... I'm suppose to have this kind of ammo!

By the time everything was said and done, it was 10pm and everyone was exhausted! Considering I had been up since 2am that day and still going, I was pretty impressed. Thank goodness for some strong coffee! By this time, I was also super thrilled Jocie had a long nap. We changed Boogs into her footie PJ's and loaded her, along with everything else, into the van. We had plans to stay at the AirForce hotel, but Justin changed his mind and we ended up driving home. It wasn't too bad with Jocie passed out and after driving the first hour, he took over and brought us on home while I caught a nap.

It was a wonderful, relaxing Christmas with everyone and I'm thrilled with our pictures! Thank you again Greg and Kristi for the photos! I can't wait to hang them!!!

Here are a few of the ones we took -- enjoy! :)

{We haven't had one of the two of us in a really long time -- Makes me smile!}

{Look at our little stinky's face!! hahahaha I love that look! Ha!}

{Love her sweet face and smile!}

{The 3 grandkids: Emily, Jocelyn & Ethan ... all of us LOVED this one!}

{Last time we all had pictures together was Christmas 2005 -- it was time! This isn't the picture that we all picked because Gary's eyes are closed, but I love everyones smiles ... especially Grandma and Boogies. We've all changed so much!}

  

 

{A father and his sons! A bunch of good-lookin' fellas!}

Suspect FOUND!

When I got home yesterday, I found out from the hubs that the bank found the perpetrator that stole our money.

Name: Tabitha Lea Smith

Address; 2201 SW Eveningside Dr. Topeka, KS
          {Was an easy address to obtain since her Westar account was on the bank statement when she paid her bill with our money}

Mugshot:
     {Yea, big shocker -- she already has a mugshot!}

So here's how this whole process goes down:

1. The Perp steals -- we are the victim
2. We call both bank and sheriff -- make claims, file report
3. The bank investigates -- sheriffs office apparently does nothing
4. The bank refunds us stolen money and now the bank is the victim
5. The bank recoups their money from third parties {ie Westar, Wal-Mart, etc} and now those corporations/businesses are the victim
6. The sheriffs office only prosecutes {or whatever you want to call it} for the "final" VICTIM. So what does that mean? This lady will only "get busted" if Westar, Wal-Mart, Target, Casey's, etc want to press charges. We were told that these businesses will probably not bring charges against her because in the whole scheme of things, a few hundred dollars here and there would actually cost them more in legal fees.

WHAT?!?!

 

So even though this has been a huge headache, a fair amount of work, stress and so forth -- it means nothing. And when I say "it means nothing," what I am trying to say, is that even though this lady stole enough money that equates to a felony, the truth is that she might not even sustain any charges whatsoever!!!

 

That can't be right -- can it?? It just can't be!!

 

I suppose if your going to do a crime, this might be the one to do!

 

Don't get it twisted, I feel very blessed that we got our money back!!!

          Very Blessed!

 

We are fortuante as this could've been so much worse, so for that, I am thankful. However, I find this all so upsetting that the reality is that she will more than likely walk away from doing something like this scott-free!

 

Just isn't right!

Unexpectedly Beautiful

Before I get to the point of this particular blog, I want to talk about my new found shower weirdness.

{I always do this don't I? Talk about something else before I really talk

about what I intend too?? Yep, guess that makes me a woman! haha}

Ok, so I PROMISE I won't get all obsessed with my new short SHORT hair, but I have to tell you how weird it is to shower now that my hair has been chopped off. It really is the strangest thing and one that I haven't experienced in a really long time.

When you have long hair and you go to wash it, not only do you need a fair amount of shampoo, but then there is a certain way to do it ... or at least there is for me.

When I washed my hair for the first time since it was cut, I felt like I was a little kid again and it was my first attempt to clean myself without my mommy. I grabbed the shampoo, poured the same amount without thinking about it and began to wash. Soap suds and water were going everywhere! I literally had suds all over the place ... even the ceiling!! As I continued to wash and rinse, I found myself reaching for hair that wasn't there, so really I was grasping at air. Then, once I was all finished with my shower, it was time to dry off. Normally I dry my face, arms, then flip my hair over so I can get my back dry, etc. So what did I do, I leaned back to whip my hair forward and nothing ... nothing happened. I had to laugh at myself because what was I doing??

Habits, whether good or bad, truly are ingrained in us all and they are so natural, so effortless, that we do them without even realizing it. Needless to say, I am becoming a bit more aware! haha

So let me tell you about one of the most beautiful things I experienced on Sunday.

Jocelyn and I ran to the store to grab some groceries and household items. As we were zipping through the isles, sometimes I noticed a lot of stares and other times not. I suppose on Sunday I was carrying around a "I don't give a crap" attitude and I said to myself "Let 'em stare!"

After we had everything we needed, it was time to check out. As I was unloading our cart onto the conveyor belt, I looked at the cashier and she looked like she would have rather been robbed and ran over by a car, than be working that register.

As the lady reluctantly rung up our items and bagged everything, out of the corner of my eye, I saw two Hispanic women in line behind us. One woman was younger and spoke English, and the other woman appeared to be her mother and non-English speaking. So as I talked to Jocelyn and waited to pay, I saw these two women looking at me and definitely staring at Jocelyn. For some reason though, I noticed they were looking at Jocelyn differently than the normal stares we get.

Out of nowhere, the younger woman asked if her mother could come say hello to my daughter. I was totally caught off guard and before I could even say "sure," the older woman was pushing past her daughter and myself to get to Jocelyn.

As I watched this woman so eagerly get to Jocelyn, I could see her eyes were instantly filling with tears. Right there in front of everyone, she got on her knees, cupped Jocelyn's face in her hands, kissed her cheek, rubbed her arms, spoke a few words in Spanish and then got up and looked at me.

As she looked at me with her tear-stained face, I literally felt like my heart stopped in time. I had no idea what just happened, but it was the most beautiful thing that I've had the pleasure of witnessing. I almost felt like I was intruding on a moment that was not intended for other people to see, yet it was my daughter. But for some reason, the way that woman responded to Jocelyn, and the way Jocelyn received her and responded back, was honestly heaven driven. I really can't explain it very well.

Jocelyn very rarely keeps her head still and makes eye contact only briefly, yet when this woman was talking to her and touching her, Jocelyn looked at this woman straight in the eyes and her whole-being literally smiled from the inside out like she was almost beaming rays of light towards this woman. I don't know if I was imagining this or not, but I could literally see this with my eyes. Before I knew it, MY eyes were welling up with tears.

On that day, at that very moment, Jocelyn and I were intentionally placed there for those women. I know that without a doubt!! My little girl was their blessing that day!

The daughter explained to me that the woman had a three year-old granddaughter named Kaylean {she later showed me a picture of her}, that passed away recently in her sleep. I later learned that Kaylean had a lot of developmental delays, used a wheelchair and out of nowhere, she passed away in her sleep in the middle of the night.

From the picture, Kaylean had the deepest, richest black hair pulled back into pigtails, the sweetest chocolaty brown eyes, wore an all purple outfit and had a smile that could light up a room.

Before I knew it, all three of us were standing there crying and hugging one another.

I've never experienced anything like this with complete strangers, but it was one of the most memorable moments I've had lately and I definitely won't be forgetting it any time soon.

Say What What to a Shorty Cut Cut!!

Some young lady was brave, bold and daring this afternoon!!

 

Before anyone really expresses their personal opinion of my short hair {particularly the hubby}, I snapped a few silly pictures of my new-do because as of right now ...

 

... In this very moment ... I . LOOOOOOOOVE . IT!!!! So freeing, so lovely and guess what ... I DON'T FEEL LIKE A BOY!!!!

Unwanted Stress

Jocelyn and I spent the entire afternoon yesterday at the pediatric office. What took so long? Trying to obtain a urine sample.

If possible, catheterizing a child {or an adult for that matter} should not be the first option. When placed correctly, a female version collection bag works wonderfully. Luckily, even though the bag was placed incorrectly {the opening of the bag is suppose to be placed in front of the rectum. When a girl urinates, it goes backwards ... kind of a "duh" thing but this is the second time its been put on wrong and no one seems to want to listen and it even comes with instructions! READ THE INSTRUCTIONS!!! When a female urine collection bag is put on wrong, its about as useful as teats on a boar hog!}, but we still got a fairly good seal and then the hard part came. She was supremely ticked off that she not only had adhesive, but a long weird bag attached to her little twinkie.

{We call her privates a "twinkie" ... I know, I know ... haha But thanks to her great-granddad and a husband that repeatedly expresses that she does not have any "girlie parts" and never will, this is what we get. I have to be able to explain certain things sometimes and apparently both the words vagina and breast are out of the question when it comes to Jocelyn. Men ... better yet, DADDY'S ... geez! haha}

 

I figured this whole ordeal would go one of two ways: smoothly and quickly, or like true life, it would be a long, tedious process. DING! DING!! DING!!! It took forever! Thank goodness for books and the all powerful iPad!

 

I ended up giving Jocelyn 12oz of water and she STILL couldn't seem to pee. We switched positions several times and I even put her hands in warm water! haha I don't know if that really works, but I didn't want to be there any longer. Finally I got to tickling her real good and apparently the giggles made it happen. Maybe she has the kiddo version of stress incontinence? Naaaah haha It was just that we'd been there for 1 1/2 hours and it was time to go! :)

Once we got home, I had a very tired little girl on my hands as it was well past nap time. I stopped at the end of our driveway to pick up our mail, then got us unloaded and in the house. Once I had a minute to go through the mail, I opened our bank statement from a local bank that we started using for our business. As I'm looking at the statement I started to realize "What the heck are all these charges ... wow! Look at all these ... Holy smokes! This is a lot of money!!!"

Very quickly I realized that someone had a good 'ol time and a fun Christmas on our dime. We've never had this happen to us, so I wasn't sure where to start. Even though it was 5pm, I started by calling the bank. The first girl I spoke with made it her 'end of the day mission' to test my already thin patience.

 

Keep in mind, I'm truly trying to be slow to react, positive, mindful of my tongue, etc ... this was a test folks!

 

The young girl asked me what were my questions/concerns and I informed her that this was a business account, we do not make these types of purchases and it appeared that we had fraudulent charges. One of the charges that the perpetrator incurred was their very own Westar bill {no one said they were a genius! I couldn't believe it, right there on my statement was their account number which I found to be extremely useful!}. I explained to the employee that this was one of many charges that did not belong to us and her response was "Are you sure?  Westar is something that is set up as an automatic withdrawal." I proceeded to waste my breath with explaining that no, this is a business account and we don't have those types of bills. The girl then said "So you have a business and you don't use electricity? Everyone uses electricity."

 

Folks, I thought I was going to reach through the phone, snatch her by her hair and smack her head on the counter so she would listen up!!! I literally wanted to scream! Instead, I told her that I don't think she was understanding my situation and to put her supervisor on the phone.

 

Long story short, it turns out that someone stole a check out of our mailbox and turned it into their favor. The supervisor explained how many perpetrators will wash a check that you have paid to someone else, do some weird "I'm not smart enough to understand stuff" to it {they use Paypal to deposit money and then withdrawal it, etc}, then they order or make checks with the account number and different check numbers. Once they had their checks made, they went on a shopping-spree at Wal-Mart, Target, filled their car up with gas at Casey's General Store, paid their own personal bills etc. They racked up a pretty penny and we are now short several thousand dollars.

Once this person, or persons, are caught -- they will have earned themselves a felony! If you steal greater than $1000 -- that's a felony.

Once finished with the bank, I called the Topeka police department. After getting disconnected numerous times, I finally got to speak to officer Rodriguez. I thought "Yay! Someones going to help me!" Nope! I could only have hoped for that!! There was a reason he was working the front desk and told me that I would have to file a report with the bank first, and then come talk to them. And guess what? The bank needed a police report in order to get things underway. So who's right??

Officer Rodriguez told me that he wasn't even sure if Tecumseh was in the Topeka police departments district. Uhm, well I sure the heck don't know ... He should know that!! So after he turned out to be no help whatsoever, I decided to blow that off, trust my own instincts to push further and call the sheriff's department. Turns out, we live in a township and its the sheriff department that covers our area. Glad I didn't just stop with officer-smarty-pants Rodriguez!

The sheriff came out, took the report and said they would be in contact today and/or tomorrow. It wasn't difficult to do that part. He had the personality of a gnat, but efficient and nice. Turned out, he uses the same bank. He also said that a lot of people have been hit pretty hard with fraud from local restaurants. So guess what that means? I'm going to be that annoying crazy lady that walks with my future restaurant server to run my debit/credit card transaction!

The even more difficult part about all this? Going to the bank today!

The lady I talked to last night, Maureen, said it would be no problem filling out the necessary paperwork, that I would be able to close our account, pull out the remaining money and even be reimbursed the stolen money today.

Do you think that happened? NO!

I was trying so hard to keep my cool, but Lynn {the teller-lady} didn't have a clue to what she was doing and she was even given instructions from Maureen last night! I continually told her to call someone and she said it was Saturday -- NO KIDDING LADY!!! There is always someone you can call when it comes to business regardless of the day.

End result - account has been closed, we did NOT get the stolen money back and Lynn would only write the check for the remaining account balance in our business name. Hello! We no longer have an account to put that in under the business name. Justin and I are both "members" but she goes "I'm not sure I can write the check to you even though you are on the account ... hmmmmm" CALL SOMEONE! I was so irritated and all the while I had Jocelyn by myself because Justin had drills today and so I was trying to deal with this lady, be patient, take care of Jocelyn, continue to be patient ... it was a hell of a hot mess!

Come Monday morning, these issues WILL BE RESOLVED! Until then, I'm going to feed Jocelyn some much needed lunch and then head out to chop all my hair off which will probably make me look like an overweight manly woman, people will probably assume that I don't like men, and the hubby will cringe at the "new-do" and be disappointed with how it looks!!

Happy Saturday! :|

Pleasant Surprise

Before I tell you about our "pleasant surprise," here is a fun little fact that I learned yesterday.

          Did you know that the year 2013 is the first year since 1987 to have four different numbers?

Go ahead -- process that for a second and then keep on reading! :)

I shared that with a few people yesterday because I thought "huh, that's kind of interesting!" Funny how the littlest things can grasp your attention!

In other news, it is now day 3 on my journey of changing myself, and I have not cursed or anything. I've prayed and quiet myself more {which I am 100% convinced is the reason I've been successful} and its been really nice! I can't believe cursing has even become a problem for me??

I found it strangely convenient that on my first day of changing my attitude, my reaction to things and so forth; that I would not only break the top to our Scentsy warmer, but I broke it all over our shiny wood floor and of course it had lots of warm, melted wax inside the bowl. I didn't say or do anything when it happened. I simply got up, grabbed something to scrape the wax off the floor, a dust pan and some cleaner. I didn't curse, I didn't get mad ... simply nothing. And guess what? IT WAS FINE! No big deal and it didn't ruin my whole morning!!

Its important to learn how to underreact at times I think. I find that for most people {and this definitely includes myself}, their initial reaction to a situation in general is an overreaction. Then, when its time to really get excited about something, it requires us to be so far gone over the top its ridiculous!!! But maybe that's just in my world.

Also, while Jocelyn and I were driving into Topeka to go swimming yesterday evening, I heard a good and thought provoking story on Air1 {for those of you that don't know, this is a Christian radio station}. The story was about two sisters that were prisoners in a concentration camp. Now, this is a true story, both of them were Godly believers, felt it was important to always give thanks and praise in every situation because they believed everything happened for a reason. The minute the host said that last little bit ... that "cliche" ... I rolled my eyes and instantly he says "I'm sure a lot of you listeners just rolled your eyes about how everything happens for a reason." Go figure right? Him saying that made me go "Geez! Stop spying on me!" haha

Anyways, the story continued with explaining how one of the sisters attempted to followed this way of life more so than the other sister. So here they were, in a concentration camp that I imagine was quite literally Hell on Earth. Well, the campsite that these particular sisters were being held at, became infested with fleas. The one "everything happens for a reason" sister voiced how they needed to give thanks for the flea infestation. Of course the other sister spoke up and said "What?! How do we, or why would we, give THANKS for fleas?" Trust me when I say, if that were my own sister telling me to "give thanks" while my body itched and ached from bites, as fleas crawled into my ears as I slept and no orifice of my body was safe from fleas making themselves at home; I'd probably tell her she was delusional and exactly where she could put that perky, positive attitude!! I'd like to think I wouldn't, but I'm sure I would have thought she was just trying to get on my nerves and by far too positive for the situation at hand!!!

Turns out, because the fleas were so bad, it often prevented the concentration guards from coming to their campsite to hurt or torture the prisoners ... those sisters were in a sense, saved by the fleas. So yes, while they were often covered in disgusting, biting, disease carrying fleas; they were not receiving the harsh beatings, punishments and treatments as other prisoners in different camps.

This gave me a new perspective about "Giving Thanks in Every Situation" --- I'm not so sure I could give thanks under such horrible, bleak circumstances? Perhaps I could, but surely not until the end or until after I saw there was an upside. But to see the goodness, or potential goodness, during such a dreadful time as I was being bitten by fleas, a prisoner, starving, beaten, watched as I lost loved ones and the list would be endless ... I'm not so sure. Gave me much food for thought and caused me to reevaluate my, and my family's, current situation. Maybe during trying times of my own, I will cling to this story/memory and really live so boldly!

Ok, so I promise there is a pleasant surprise!

After Jocelyn and I went swimming and got cleaned up, we met up with Justin and went out to supper {on swim night, we usually treat ourselves to a meal out and I think we all look forward to that :)}. I told Justin it was his turn to pick and he choose Famous Dave's. Justin avoids chain places, and especially chain BBQ places, because they tend to not be all that great. But as we were sitting there waiting for food, two different people came up to our table to thank Justin for his service to our country, and also even thanked me for being the support he needs to "do whats necessary." In case your wondering, he stayed late at work so he was still in uniform, but gosh, I thought those people taking time out to come over at all was the sweetest gesture.

What else was a sweet gesture? The manager came over to our table and gave us a free bottle of their signature BBQ sauce, a $10 gift certificate and also thanked Justin.

What else was a super sweet gesture and pleasant surprise? Someone that asked to remain anonymous, bought our entire supper for us!!! Is that not the nicest thing in the world???

I'm telling you, I don't know if it happens to you once you become a mom, if its because I'm a woman, if its because I'm trying to live my life as God intended and He's continually softening my heart, if its getting closer to "that time of the month" or what ... but I about started to cry right then and there. I just couldn't believe that everyone was so nice ... so generous ... and it was out of the blue.

I felt so blessed ...
          ... to be with my family, to be warm, to have food in our bellies, to encounter such wonderful people ...

Just totally and utterly blessed!

New Year

BRING ON

I'm ready for it!

........ I think! haha

 

We spent our New Year's Eve making homemade laundry soap {well me anyways! I'm a real party gal huh? haha} and the sweet husband spent some time drawing and calculating ways to make special needs equipment affordable to other special need parents that can't afford the insanely high cost of simple equipment like a bench, tray or adjustable table. I totally fall more in love with him, have even more adoration and beam with pride when he wants to help others like this. His preliminary plans, figures and drawings look really promising and so I'm excited for him. He's already jetted off this mid-morning to go get the supplies to try his idea out!

 

In regards to my laundry soap? I'm super excited to try it today haha!!!

 

Man! I'm such a nerd! Ha! And one of the best parts? It cost pennies, you only have to use 1-2 tablespoons for typical loads and the recipe doesn't make suds in your washer, so you can use it in ANY washing machine!!!

 

There are many recipes out there, but I choose to try a powdered detergent {mainly because it was easier and faster to make!}, but here's what I used:

• 1 bar of Fels Naptha Soap finely grated
• 3 cups 20 Mule Team Borax
• 3 cups of Arm & Hammar Super Washing Soda (NOT baking soda!)

***I saw were that you might want to consider decreasing, maybe even perhaps eliminating fabric softener. I'll just have to do trial and error to see what I think personally. Also, for this type of concoction, people recommended to use 1 tablespoon (T) for light or small loads, 2T for normal loads and for heavy loads, use 3T or allow the clothes to soak in the soap mixture overnight inside the washing machine. Simple and CHEAP enough in my books!! :)


{I love the way the Naptha soap looks -- so bright and yellow! 
 I used the finest part of the grater and it really came out nicely.}

{After I grated the whole bar of Naptha, I added 3 cups each of the
two ingredients above, gave it a good mix and then put it
in a sealable container. Wallah! Easy right? I'm happy!}

Also, yesterday I spent a little bit of time reflecting on this past year, what are definites to come in this new year, what I would like to see happen or change, my hopes and goals for 2013 and of course excited for all the surprises {and again, hopefully they are wonderful, positive surprises} that will come along.

I decided to make a list of my goals which will be hanging in my bathroom as a daily reminder. And the key element to the goals? I thought of the "how" ... the "how" is equally important in my books because if you don't have a plan, you won't know where to start and almost guaranteed not to be successful! :)

Goals:

1. Rekindle my relationship with God by praying daily and earnestly for my family and friends, digging into His word each day and listening to sermons online {going to an actual church right now is very difficult for us}.
2. Rekindle my relationship with my hubby by talking and really listening to one another, less TV {and guess what that means, we both agreed to cancel our cable!}, more alone time and quality time together, more touching, more laughter, be respectful in our tone of voice, bring God back into the center of our relationship, be more understanding, more honest and loving. Just more more MORE of the good stuff! A couple's relationship often dramatically changes once you have kids, and when you're a couple that has a special needs child, its even more taxing because there is never a break, the rigorous routine never ends, there is so often no energy, no desire ... just simply nothing ... left over for your spouse, your friend, your lover ... and that has to change!
3. Invest more in Boogie's spiritual life instead of all my attention going towards her ability to communicate or her physical and cognitive development. It doesn't mean we will stop doing all her therapies and the normal things we do, but life is more important than having that type of tunnel vision. Jocelyn might not ever be able to met our worldly goals, but this life doesn't last long and I want her to know there is more to God's purpose and plan for her life. 
4. Get my passion and enthusiasm back for God, my husband, my daughter and the life we have been given.
5. Take care of my body for my family, for God and for myself by continuing to workout, get more sleep when possible, make better food choices and not overindulge.
6. Stop Cursing! Somewhere along the line after having Jocelyn, I've gradually allowed cursing back into my life. Its negatively affecting my thoughts and attitude, fueling anger and my perception on life in general.
7. Help my husband more with the family business by being eager, encouraging, do some independent learning so I am knowledgeable and can offer educated advice and opinions.
8. Learn to take pride and honor in every single thing I do as a wife, mother, friend, individual ... no matter if its the simplest of things ... and truly know that even though my life is in a place I never imagined ... that God has a purpose for me and my life right where I'm at and in every situation I, and we as a family, encounter.

I pray each and everyone of you are on your way to making this year absolutely spectacular!!!