70 Minutes

This morning, I met another one of my challenges that I set for myself to accomplish before Justin came home.

My Challenge:
          Run the distance around Lake Shawnee while pushing Jocelyn!

For the record, I'm am absolutely POSITIVE I ran in the WRONG direction. If I would've ran in the other direction, I would've avoided several insanely steep hills. I'm not even joking. One of the hills that lies directly next to 45th street has got to be like a 75 degree incline ... 60 degrees at the very least ... definitely more than a 45 degree. Ok, ok haha math isn't a strong point, but this one dang hill in particular about produced some vomit!

It was BRUTAL but guess what?

     I DID IT!!!

I had no intentions of running completely around the lake today. None whatsoever. But before I knew it, I was at 3.5 miles. Even if I were to turn around right then and there, I knew that would total 7 miles and so I just kept on going. This was my chance to run completely around. Either way, I still had about 3.5 miles to go -- So I just kept going.

Now I sound like Forrest Gump.
Whatevs.

As a person goes around the lake, they can count how far they've went by these little quarter mile markers. After I got to 14, I knew I was at 3.5 miles {and I usually don't run more than this because why? haha}. But as I continued running, panting, sweating {nearly crying} ... I realized that I totally lost count of my mile markers.

When I came home, I looked up the distance around the lake and couldn't find anything to give me a definite answer. Either way, I ran somewhere between 6.5-7.5 miles with pushing a combined weight of 65 pounds {which is not bad as I could have a heavier stroller to push :P} and I did it in 70 minutes.

Almost 7 miles up & down hills WITH pushing Jocelyn? Whew! I simply wasn't sure if I could do it!

That's not super fast, but I am super excited with my distance, my time and the fact that I accomplished my goal!

It was windy and humid this morning which was no fun on my sore throat and congested nose & lungs, but I was still victorious!

There weren't too many people out early {although I did see 2 people twice because they too were taking on the lake today} but those that were in ear shot, I'm sure thought I was delirious.

 

Maybe I was.

As I was running, I found myself doing a little "self-talk" to keep me going.
Often times out loud.
Sometimes you have to HEAR the positive words come from your own mouth.
THAT can be powerful!

My choice phrases today {and don't laugh ... corny as they may be ... it worked!}:
"You are capable"
"This hill is almost over"
"Don't give up"
"You've got this"
"This is your day"
"This is for you"
"You're a machine"
"Your body can take this"
"You were made to move"
"You are healthy"
"You run because you can"
"You run because Boogie can't"
"You run because MANY can't"
"You are strong"
"You are strong because your God is strong"

My cute little side kick fell asleep the minute I took off for the run. I'm sure it had noooooothing to do with the fact that she was up since the butt-crack of dawn. Her sleeping was the very reason that I decided to keep going today though. :)

No matter the exhaustion, I had to snap a picture of success!

Honestly, I feel more beautiful, more alive and have more confidence when I'm sweaty, red-faced and frizzy-haired; than when I'm clean, dolled-up and in a fancy outfit.

Set some goals -- then achieve them!
Makes you feel amazing!!!

20 Things

I ran across this article/advice/parenting truths today and totally had to share.

As I read through each of the 20 items, I found myself saying "EXACTLY" and literally laughing because the words that are written were so true!

Plain and simple ... being a parent ... being a mother ... no matter how many kids you have ... no matter if you are a stay-at-home-mom or working outside the home ... NO MATTER THE CIRCUMSTANCE ... raising a child/children is flat out the hardest thing in life.

Enjoy!

20 Things Every Parent Should Hear
By Beth Woolsey
Writer, humorist at the Five Kids Is A Lot of Kids blog

1. You are a hero for your kids. You are. You're a go-the-distance, fight-the-dragon, face-the-challenges hero for your kids. Taking a beating makes that more true. Not less.

2. We all struggle. Every parent. Everywhere. We all second-guess ourselves. And we all want to quit sometimes. Hold the good times close, and when things are tough, remember, "this, too, shall pass."

3. Finding the funny may not save your soul, but it will save your sanity. Or maybe it's the other way around. Either way, look for the humor and embrace the crazy. Laughter is a lifeline.

4. Every day, you will feel like you have mishandled something. Like you've been impatient. Like you've misjudged. Like you've been too harsh. Like you've been too lenient. You may be right. Apologize if you need to and then, whatever. Seriously. Just whatever. Let it go.

5. The crazy, the crying, the cuddles. The screaming, the sacred, the scared. The minutes, the magic, the mess. It's all part of it. And it's all worth it.

6. Family is the best. Even when it's not perfect. And it's never perfect. Ever.

7. At the end of organization, at the end of patience, at the end of perfection, we die to ourselves. And then love rises from the ashes. It sucks. And then it gets better. And then it sucks again. Still, love rises.

8. You will never regret parenting. Except for the teeny, tiny tons of times when you secretly wonder if you maybe regret it just a little. But, overall, never. And overall is what counts in the end.

9. Parenting is like climbing the big mountain. Look for the base camp. That's where you rest, meet other climbers, take in oxygen and acclimatize. Base camp is what makes summiting possible.

10. You are not alone in this strange, vast, parenting ocean. Even in the dark of night. You are not alone. You're not.

11. Kids know the way to magical and they'll give you a free pass to come along. Breathe in the magic as long as you can, because that same kid is going to poop his pants in just a minute.

12. There's a very fine line between enjoying the chaos and barely surviving. Actually, there's no line at all. It's all mixed up together. That "fine line" thing is a lie.

13. If you pay attention, kids will teach you how to laugh loudly, how to love deeply and how to live fully. They will also ruin all your stuff.

14. Any number of kids is a lot of kids.

15. Look for joy. You'll find it in the middle of the busy. Or under the ridiculous. Or hanging from the overwhelmed in its underpants. Joy's like that. It's in the middle of everything. It's completely unpredictable. And it will surprise you when you're not expecting it. Like vomit and diarrhea, except good.

16. You will fall apart and do it all wrong. Forgive yourself. Ask your kids to forgive you. Set an example of resilient fallibility. Set an example of practicing the art of love -- both loving yourself and loving others. No one does this parenting gig right the first time. Or the last time. Or the times in between. Showing your kids how to keep going after getting it wrong is a wonderful gift to give them.

17. Kids are difficult, gross, confusing and awesome. So are you.

18. Parenting will bring you face-to-face with yourself. It may be terrifying. It may break you. But it will also rebuild you, and you will be stronger than you ever thought possible.

19. Balance is a myth. Parenting isn't a tight-rope walk; it's a dance. Strive for rhythm instead of balance, and trust yourself to move to the ever-changing beat.

20. Yes, you will have days where you wonder where the hell the capable and organized you went. Yes, you will sit on the floor of the main aisle at Target by the check-out area with a child who is thrashing, screaming and calling you names. Yes, you will have to tell your child that the dog is not a napkin and to put down the urinal cake. If you do not do all those things literally, then you will do them figuratively. And yes, you will also hold that child and rock back and forth and tell him you love him and tell him he's safe and tell him you're not leaving even though he will someday leave you. This is parenting. It is tragic and triumphant. Messy and magical. Sacred and spectacular. And it is, always, fiercely worthwhile.

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... parenting is tragic and triumphant

... messy and magical

... sacred and spectacular

... it is, always, fiercely worthwhile.

Too Early for This Nonsense ...

So Jocelyn doesn't seem to care this morning {like MANY mornings} that I'm tired and STILL sick after almost a week. I don't think she understands that you NEED sleep in order to get BETTER!!

Come 4am she was hootin' and hollerin' for me {which is still better than some of the hours that she deems necessary to wake me from my blissful slumber!}.

I just wasn't having it this morning.
I simply DID NOT WANT to wake up.
And definitely not be chirpy & cheerful.

But atlas, I pulled myself from my warm, cozy bed. I blindly walked into her room, picked her up without saying a word and brought her back to my bed. I never do this because I figure why bother? Its not like we are actually going to be sleeping. But today, I simply needed to lay there for a little while longer.

So as we laid there, and I tried to not be the crankiest fire breathing mama dragon in the world , we started telling told stories. That started the smiles for us both.

Sang Songs.

Gave Kisses.

Had a Mini Tickle Fight.

And then after about 30 minutes, I felt like I could function on some sort of level.

 

Sort of.

To prevent literally looking like the walking dead all day with a cranky attitude ...

... I have some delicious Stash black chai spice tea steeping and aching from some milk and honey!! That'll do the trick and hopefully get me going so I can match J's energy this morning.

But seriously, here in a few days, daddy is TOTALLY taking a few shifts!

Last Day of Preschool

Yesterday, Thursday the 24th, was the last day of preschool for Jocie!

We MADE IT!! It was only for like two months and a handful of days, but whew!

We aren't totally finished as we have summer school during the month of June {which kind of seems silly to me ... they are coming to the house??} but that's okay, its only for one month.

Jocelyn decided to start her last day of school at 3:30am {yay me! haha} and it wouldn't have been as bad if I didn't feel so totally crummy. I'm sure Boogs felt the same way, but if she did, she handled it better than I did. Who's the real warrior? Yeah, HER by far!

After laying Boogs down for a nap between 6:30-8am, I quickly gave her a bath and put her in a new romper {we DO NOT wear these often because its hard to get to the g-tube, but they are SO CUTE!}. I of course had to snap a few pictures ... it was the last day of school!! Probably way too many, but I couldn't help myself.

I'm glad I was able to get her to go back to sleep for a little while because she seemed in a good mood and ready to rock-n-roll!


{She's a fan of her hands in her mouth -- ugh! But she's cute nevertheless!}

We ended up getting to class before everyone else, so while we waited, I put Jocie in the claw tub with a toy so that I wouldn't have to worry about her falling over on the hard floor while I switched her wheelchair seat from the wheelchair base to the hi/low base. It's a real pain in the butt, but I'm grateful that we have both wheelchair bases for convenience.

Once everyone arrived to the room and got settled, I left for the morning. Since it was the last day of school, Jocie wasn't going to be having any therapies, so I thought I would try my best to stay away most of the morning.

I was successful.

I came home.
Set a few text messages.
Had a snack.
Did some Zumba with the music cranked HIGH!
          {normally I have to work out when J's asleep, so its never lough!}
Got lunch together for us both.
Cleaned a little bit more.
Sat down for a minute and did NOTHING.
Then went back to the school.

I was gone a little over two hours -- yea, OVER TWO HOURS!!!

I was pretty stinkin' proud of myself, and everyone said Jocie had a fairly decent day which was nice. Once I got there they helped me switch her chairs out again, gathered all her meds and medical supplies to take home for the summer and were about to see us out the door when I noticed the other kids were about to play musical chairs. I didn't know for sure, but I thought Jocie would think this was fun, so I said "No, we will stay to the end and walk out with the rest of the kiddos."

I was right. Jocie thought it was hilarious to see the kids going round and round in a circle, me helping her clap to the music and then encouraging the kids that were out to come over to us. Jocie had fun having all the kids next to her, the music and the laughing. Its not something that happens often. Its easy for people to think she can't participate. She doesn't HAVE to bounce chair to chair, but getting her close, singing the songs to her and helping her clap, making a huge deal out of someone getting out, having the other kids come over and facilitate them all engaging with one another ... that's enough. I don't understand why that isn't ... or seemingly can't be done??

But I digress.

At the end of the day all the kids lined up at the door and the Para, Michele, gave hugs.

After lunch and naps, Jocie and I went to the YWCA and swam for the evening. She was having more fun than ever. I don't think the girl stopped laughing for a full 45 minutes. Made me feel good. We came home, ate supper and then went on a walk that evening. It was GORGEOUS out. I love that Jocie enjoys the outdoors so much!

I wish I could say Jocie and I celebrated with a fun lunch or a shopping trip, but sadly, we didn't. Maybe one day? And I wish I could say that Boogs made huge improvements during this short time, but again, that didn't happen. Maybe one day?

But what I can say, is that during these few short weeks of attending preschool, I've had a lot to ponder.

My thoughts {briefly because I am tired}:

I'm still pretty unsure about preschool. I really don't know if the school system is going to be for us. People try to push their case, and then support it, with the notion that Jocelyn will get socialization, she will be encouraged or maybe driven by seeing what the other kids do, that she will have the opportunity for someone else to work with her, to succeed in a different environment, that I will benefit from someone else taking over and helping, etc.

Those things MIGHT be true ... might.

I haven't really seen the benefit of these potential "good" aspects of preschool just yet, but that doesn't meant that I won't.

What I do know, is that Jocelyn very rarely truly gets to "interact" with the other kids. She spends most of the day with the Para and what do they do? Mostly sing songs and play peek-a-boo. Sigh. I'm not going to go there right now folks because like I said, I'm tired, but this simply won't work for me. And in all honesty, EVERYTHING is hard for Jocelyn ... EVERYTHING is "work." Its hard to find ways ... academically driven at that ... to help her and other kids interact. I don't deny that ... I can see that.

Other things that I know, is that the staff all around don't TRULY understand the concept of WAITING for Jocelyn to respond. Just simply giving her wait time. That they don't understand how her vision and CVI effects everything. How to get her involved visually and motor-wise, or like I mentioned above, how to include her appropriately. And again, this is my opinion ... which lets face it ... its the one that matters folks.

Is it "hurting" Jocie to be in preschool? No, I don't think so. But its important to weigh what we want out of each day and I'm just not convinced this is it.

I've also had people tell me "Jocie will make friends and they will follow her through school..." Simply NOT TRUE! Or at least not according to a conversation that I had with the teacher this week.

One good thing about me, and bad, is that people tend to tell me everything before they even know it. Our preschool teacher is no exception.

I can't be upset at her though because if she didn't prep me now, then when it came time for Jocelyn to enter Kindergarten, I would be livid.

What am I talking about?

Come to find out, in the next two years, if Jocie doesn't drastically improve in her motor skills, her communication abilities or her ability to demonstrate her cognitive level; then come Kindergarten, she will be transferred to a school that is more equipped for kids "with more extensive needs." So what does that mean? That means that not only would she be in a different school away from anyone that she has gotten to know over the last two years, but then she would only be around "like kids." Some might be "better off" and others might be "worse off" {and all that "better" or "worse" crap is perspective because what is better for some is worse for others}.

This isn't something that I should "worry about right now" but that its a "possibility." When I asked the reasoning for the segregation {and out of genuine curiosity}, I was told its because THAT school had wider hallways, bigger classrooms and everything is "set up" better for "these types of kids."

To an extent, I can understand the rationale for doing this in regards to money, resources, etc. And to be honest, no, if the other kids are doing division or a science project that Jocie can't do, it would be pointless for her to be in there. However, I'm not going to have her sitting in a room doing nothing but looking at pinwheels and shiny objects {and yes, I'm being extreme, but I'm annoyed ... and no, I'm not trying to be nasty because some more involved kids truly do get great enjoyment out of those kinds of things and I would NEVER ... lets be clear ... EVER intend for my words to be hurtful in that manner}. But I don't want her in a classroom where the expectation is that she's not going to succeed either.

Sorry, but I've got a better quality of life in store for my girl.

Yes, we will cross that bridge when we get there, but damn does it leave a sour taste in your mouth at the end of the year.

That's all I'm going to say for now because I.MUST.SLEEP!

USS Stark Memorial

Recently, there was a memorial that took place at the Naval Station in Mayport, FL {which just so happens to be where my sister and her family are currently stationed ... she's married to a Navy man}. This memorial resonated with me because it honors the USS Stark Sailors.

One might think, why does that matter to you??? Click HERE! :)

And I have to be honest, until now, none of us realized that there was an annual memorial for the USS Stark and those who lost their lives, until my sister recently moved there. I would have totally loved to have been there for the memorial with my dad, and I'm absolutely floored that even after 26 years, this community and Naval Station, continues to honor the fallen soldiers.

STEALS.MY.HEART!

So here's some background and why it resonates with me.

The USS Stark was deployed to the Middle East twice, one of which being the year of 1987. During the 1987 deployment, the USS Stark came under attack and was struck on May 17, 1987 by not one, but two, anti-ship missiles. These missiles were fired from an Iraqi Mirage F1 aircraft during the Iran-Iraq War.

The USS Stark shipmates had little to no warning that these missiles were about to strike as the radar failed to detect the missiles. A warning was given only moments before the missiles actually struck.

The first missile penetrated the port-side hull but luckily, it failed to detonate. Even still, it caused extensive damage and left flaming rocket fuel in its path. The second missile struck the vessel and entered at nearly the same point of contact. This second missile exploded in the crew quarters and created a 3x4 meter crater.

This destruction took the lives of 37 sailors and wounded 21 others.

Here's a picture my sister found of my dad while on the USS Stark.
He was so young still. He was only 31 years-old ... that's basically my age right now!

 

Today, my sister posted a different video of the memorial service and it made me think about so much, and I love how now {even after TWENTY-SIX YEARS!!!} that the Mayport community continues to honor those Sailors who fought and gave their lives.

My own father was personally on this ship when it got bombed. I was only 4 years-old at the time and truly, I could've and would've lost him, but his own stubbornness and faith quite literally saved his life.

As I remember the story {his version might be slightly different, but this is what I remember him telling me ... and all the more reason I keep pestering him to put all his adventures in writing so I will always have HIS words ... HIS STORY ... and not have to rely on my own failing memory!}, but as I remember, he was dead tired as he had worked a 24 hour shift and had just gotten off duty. All he wanted to do was shower and go to his tiny little bed on the ship and FINALLY sleep.

You see, he had been asking a friend of his to go to the chapel service over and over each week and the guy would never go. Often times there was almost no one who attended services, but my dad was forever committed. But of course, on this particular day, the day of alllllll days, this friend decided that he would go to service. My dad ALMOST said "No" and he had good reason. He was thoroughly exhausted ... who could blame him.

However, being the faithful man that my dad is, and the fact that he had asked his friend to attend on so many different occasions, he quickly showered, gathered himself together and went to service.

As they sat there during service, THAT was when his bunk got hit. Bam! Just like that, he would have died. It would've been over. He would've went in his sleep. I wouldn't have had my father. Not to be dramatic, but he never would've seen me through my school days, listened to all my whining, my laughter, wiped away my tears; wouldn't have watched me graduate high school and college, be independent, get married, have a child, see me succeed in life ... there simply would've been so much that was missed ... just nothing. He never would've met and married my mom, Debbie, and given me the mother I always needed. I wouldn't have gained a sister and another brother. Not have my sister? Just the thought of that would be devastating.

I would've spent the next 26 years without him. Pretty humbling thought for sure.

Gives me chills.

Thankful for my dad's persistence, God's guidance and that particular friends' willingness to decide that day, was the day he needed to go to church. To this day, I have a VERY SPECIAL treasure chest that survived that bombing. It has ALWAYS meant so much to me, and now, it sits in Jocelyn's room, holding many things near and dear my heart!!

I love you so much Soda-Pop!! Thank you for always being such an incredibly, cheerful, Godly man!

Here's one of my favorite pictures with my Soda-Pop. It was taken 3 months after I had gotten married, graduated from Fort Hays State University with my degree in Biological Science and moved away from Kansas {went to Alabama -- woohoo!} for the first time. I think he was pretty proud of me. Its hard to see your daughter leave, and I was the baby, so that means I was the most loved hahaha.

And to think, pictures like this one, ALMOST.NEVER.HAPPENED!

 

I love this picture of my dad. He nearly always has a smile on his face, has never met a stranger and he is such a genuine man through and through. So proud to call you my dad!



Grandparents Visit

Jocelyn's been one lucky little girl the last two weeks. She's gotten to see two out of three sets of grandparents.

Last week, her Papa and Nana Powers came up to visit us during a continuing education class they had in Topeka. They got to our house late on Tuesday night and left Thursday morning. Jocie loved getting the extra attention for sure. Papa and her were speed demons when we took a trip to Sam's Club. What kid doesn't want to fly through the store with their Papa? We even went to Old Chicago on Wednesday after our swim night which was the first time I had been out to eat in 1 1/2 months! That treat made mama happy! haha I enjoyed the extra company.

After they left, I realized we didn't take ANY pictures!! Boooooo

And then yesterday, Jocelyn and I drove to Manhattan to meet up with my parents for the afternoon. Since they needed to travel there for a graduation that evening, we decided it was the perfect opportunity to see each other.

We met up at the mall and Hu Hot was on the menu for lunch. Can we say YUUUUUUM!! I ate more meat and veggies than anyone person should eat. I think we were there for over an hour haha. But that's the beauty about my family, we are never in a hurry, we slow down, enjoy one another -- just be together.

The mall was pretty busy with it being graduation, but really, the company was so good, I didn't even notice! I did score some pretty cute black sporty sandals for Jocelyn that will STAY ON! Grandma spotted them and they were a hit.

The majority of the afternoon we spent in the foot court, feet propped up, drinking a delicious latte, talking and venting, laughing and playing with Jocelyn. Boogie apparently was so comfortable, she decided to take a long nap right there in the midst of it. We can pretty much set up camp wherever we go hahaha I love that about us!!!

After about 5 hours together {yes, we were in the mall, in tiny Manhattan no less, mostly in the food court, for 5 hours -- don't be jealous!! hahaha}, it was time for them to head to the graduation party and for us to head home. So sad. :(

Fortunately, I did bring my camera and snapped a few pictures. Enjoy!!



{I don't think she was happy Grandma left :P}

Jocelyn had some fun playing with grandma. Playing with her phone was pretty entertaining apparently.

 

 

 

 

We are pretty fortunate to have some wonderful grandparents in our lives -- Jocelyn's very blessed!

G-Tube Humor

Its good to have a sense humor -- something people tend to loose with age!

Having a g-tube is for the birds!

There is NOTHING fun about it.
People get freaked out by them.
They leak or ooze.
Sometimes they down right smell.
The skin can get raw & irritated.
Granulation tissue can grow & is painful.
They get in the way or caught on things.
It can be easily pulled out.
They seem to be sore all the time.
Little kids want to touch them.
Little girl rompers are impossible.
Footy PJ's are even impossible unless adapted.
Its a challenge for your child to not play with it.
You always have to carry a spare g-tube kit.
Syringes & tubing extension sets are your new accessory.

... they are simply a pain in the butt! Nevertheless, when you have a sweet princess that has difficulty eating and drinking by mouth, they are a Godsend. Nutrition and hydration are simply fundamental things. If you don't have those two things in check, its hard to focus on anything else. Trust me, we know from first hand experience.
          Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs ring a bell? haha

I ran across these pictures of g-tube/feeding/sensory humor and they totally made me laugh. Some might seem confusing to the g-tube novice, but I could relate to all of them. They all include the beautiful and bodacious Ryan Gosling!!! What a total cutie! I've loved him ever since I saw him in Remember the Titans and every girls love, The Notebook. Ryan "speaks" such sexy, seductive words ... words EVERY special needs mama wants to hear!

Enjoy the humor and the eye-candy!



{Oh how this happens far too often!!}

 

Sometimes you just have to take the bad, take the annoying ... turn it around ... make it into something funny and simply laugh! :)

Happy Saturday!!!

A Different Friday Night for a Change!

Tonight, on a Friday no less, Jocelyn and I actually got to do something different for once.

We went to a graduation party!!!

I don't think I've been to a high school graduation party for AT LEAST ten years ... at least! You forget what they are like when its been that long.

The gal that is graduating tomorrow is our Hippotherapist's daughter, Radie. She has a pretty cool and unique name I think. I definitely have never heard of it.

Here is Peggy, our therapist, with her daughter, Radie:

{Radie often leads the horse while Peggy manipulates Jocelyn. They make a pretty good team I think. They are therapist, but more importantly, they are our friends & feel like family}

Anyways, they sent us an invite and asked us several times to come to the graduation party. I told them that I wasn't sure if we would come because these type of social gathering are just plain difficult for us. Typically, there are so many people {and you only know the hostess} and there is almost never any room for a wheelchair, and if there is, it's a huge ordeal to get it inside another persons house, and set up, without making a huge scene!!

 

What typically happens when we go to someone's house like this where there are large groups, is that I have to hold Jocelyn the entire time, or find some out-of-the-way spot to sit her down and be right next to her so she doesn't fall over. Sometimes it can just be plain awkward! I worry about how I will go to the bathroom with no one to hold or watch her, what if someone wants or needs me to do something, then everyone wants you to drink &/or eat ... I don't have 15 arms ... its almost impossible and exhausting to do yourself. If Justin comes with me to something like this, then its more doable, but he's not around often and doing this type of stuff by myself, is starting to get to be too much. 

 

Even though I felt some true anxiety about being at their house {and we know them WELL ... for at least 1 1/2 years now ... but we can't take up all their time ... they had LOTS of people there to visit with}, I raised my chin up high and faked it until I made it. We sought out Radie, gave her the gift we brought and hugged her, wondered around, looked at some fun scrapbooks they had laying around and made the best of it. I noticed people were very curious about us {not to mention my HUGE backpack of medical supplies, etc was attached to my back like I was some college student again} but I'm use to people staring.

 

Jocelyn started to seem like she was getting anxious and uncomfortable herself, and I'm sure she could feel my nerves as well.

 

I decided that since it was such a nice evening out, we would venture outside, find a spot to sit down and just enjoy watching the people and talk to whoever came along. I mean, it is Friday ... it was time to be social!

 

We snapped a few pictures of ourselves. Jocie's facial expressions crack me up!!

 

Radie came out and chatted with us too. We talked about boys {she's been dating this Sophomore for about six months now} and I told her she was robbin' the cradle! Ha! We carried on about his family and how she doesn't think they are too excited about them dating, what will happen to them when she goes off to Washburn, what she wants to do in college and why ...

 

          Aaaahhhhh ... the possibilities and innocence of high school, where life can take you, the dreaming of big dreams ...

 

Brought back a lot of good memories and it was so sweet to see such a pretty girl have that twinkle in her eye about life in general.

 

It was refreshing!

 

We also really got to chatting with Peggy's father {he's a total hoot and such a sweetheart ... he has a pretty aggressive cancer and I'm so thrilled he is still here for all of this} and even her sister who is a special education teacher no less. She was just as easy to talk to and carry on with as Peggy always is. She was really interested in Jocelyn, the things we were doing and so forth. Their family did a wonderful job of making us feel welcomed.

Made my heart full!

We stayed for about an hour and then we needed to drive back home since its about a 45 minute drive. Before we left, we of course said goodbye to all of them and a picture of us girls was absolutely mandatory!!

Jocie and I had another perfect Friday night!! Except this Friday, we got to spend it with some "extended family!" :)

I DID IT!!!!

I simply can't believe it -- but I'm telling myself "BELIEVE IT SISTER!!!!"

 

I got on the scale this morning, and BAM! I've met my weight loss goals! I've nearly lost how much Jocie weighs! Not quite, but dang close. I am simply stunned! Every time I pick her up {which is endlessly of course haha} I am reminded over and over and over again how much extra weight I was carrying around.

THATS INSANE!!!!

The Figures:
Down nearly 30lbs
Over 12" off combined -- most from my midsection!
BMI went from "overweight" (duh!) to "normal weight"
Body Fat % from 26.8% to 25.7%
Sleeping better
Energy & endurance increased
Confidence, motivation and satisfaction? THROUGH.THE.ROOF!

What Does ~30lbs Look Like:

{This cute lil hot mess!}

{About 3 1/2 gallons of whole milk}

{This entire cart of apples!!! Yikes!}

{SIX 5lb bags of sugar}

{This 30lbs fish! GROSS!! haha}

I'm really not trying to toot my own horn, but yes, I'm SO PROUD of myself! So I guess maybe I'll give a little toot-tootin!! :)

 

If anyone is interested, the book "Why We Get Fat: And What To Do About It" by Gary Taubes is a great read. Jocelyn's orthopedic surgeon wanted me to read this a long time ago when I started her on a blenderized diet. I bought it, I had intentions of reading it and then there sat ... on the shelf ... collecting dust for many many months! I might have had this book a year before I ever picked it up. I really did have good intentions of reading it to help Jocie, and heck, even myself; but it just didn't ever seem to "fit into my schedule." Pretty sure subconsciously I simply didn't want to spend the time on figuring out why we get fat! I mean really, booooring! Right? It really wasn't that bad and I'm glad I spent some time investing in myself and my family's future health.

Anyways, this book was a HUGE eye opener. I can't BELIEVE how many of us fall into the mindset that this book so clearly lays out as wrong. It truly is unbelievable and makes you go "wow ... of course ... no kidding ... I'm such an idiot!" haha Health, fitness and weight loss is not about calories in versus calories out. How many of us think, "If I just eat less and workout more ... THEN I'll be healthy and lean." Because "if I expend more calories then I take in, then I'll loose weight." Right? WRONG! There will be some initial weight loss at first, heck, maybe even a lot ... but it doesn't stay that way for long because virtually no one is successful at always cutting back, depriving themselves and working so hard at "sweating it out."

If you are overweight and workout religiously and vigorously but are still heavy, then it must be your diet that is sabotaging you right? Or if you are overweight and eat decent but are still heavy, then it must be because your too sedentary right? After all, we all believe this right? Yea, so did I!!!

Knowledge is power people -- I'm reminded of this DAILY!

So what worked for me? Key word -- me {haha don't want people thinking I'm TELLING them what to do :P}

1. Deciding to do this for me. Then later that I wanted to be healthy for our daughter, for my husband and for a good QUALITY of life. I hate seeing how so many people are miserable because they didn't take care of themselves in the past and now are paying the price. It's never too late though!!! Never!
2. Drinking LOTS of water. At first, those "8 glasses" of pure water was HARD! Now? I drink an average of 15 to 20 cups per day.
3. I stopped all soda. I've tried to have a little bit here and there. Just.can't.do.it.anymore! Ick! I haven't drank regular soda in forever (minus the occasional regular coke ... it was a drug I tell ya) but I still couldn't kick the diet. DIET SODA DOES NOT PREVENT WEIGHT GAIN OR HELP YOU!!! Our body's can't recognize the crap that's in it, it THINKS we are drinking sugar, or at least that is how our body's respond to it.
4. I try my very best to get more sleep -- however that may look. So what does that mean? I put cleaning, bills, tasks, chores in general on hold and I napped when I could. Now, after getting a lot of weight off and eating better, my quantity of sleep might not have increased greatly (nothing I can really do about that because of Jocie) but my quality of sleep has drastically improved.
5. I found like-minded people. Whether on Facebook or other areas, a good community of those who want to lead a healthy life-style is key. Be in charge of what you know. Read books, research foods, general wellness, etc.
6. I did not listen to others and especially when they say "you've lost enough" ... "here eat this" ... "do that." Sometimes people just do not want you to change because its hard for THEM.
7. Yes, I workout. I always have. However, I don't workout NEARLY as long or as hard as I use too and I'm seeing even better results then when I was literally killing myself and not seeing virtually ANY changes! Now, a 20-30 minute jog or workout video is perfect. Makes me feel good, keeps lean muscle and releases those endorphins. This leads to the most important thing that I did for myself.
8. Perhaps the biggest thing that worked for me? CHANGING THE WAY I EAT!! It ALL starts at your mouth, what you put into it, truly does matter!!! I've started totally loading my daily intake with fruits and veggies -- tons of this stuff. Limiting my meat, eating more raw foods ... putting it plainly ... I've started eating clean, simple food and my body is loving me for it!!!

          Let me say that again - You HAVE TO change the way you eat! The saying "You are what you eat" is the biggest statement of truth -- one that I never bought into -- but is absolutely, without a doubt, TRUTH!!!

Once I realized that a calorie is not a calorie, things changed. What I mean by this, is that the way our body responds and USES food sources is different. If you are attempting to stick with a 1500 calorie diet and consume mostly processed foods, the results will not come ... it simply won't. Now, you can eat 1800-2000 calories a day and it be clean, unprocessed foods and YOU WILL LOOSE WEIGHT!

Or at least I'm proof! I know everyone is different, but you can not out-train a bad diet. And when you change what you are eating, weight-loss is merely a pleasant side effect! No joke!! You don't loose weight to be healthy ... you GET HEALTHY to loose the weight!!!

I'm not saying that I don't ever eat processed or sugared foods - I do - but not on a daily basis. And to be honest, that stuff actually makes me feel ill when I do eat it. I had a delicious incredible burger with bacon and cheese last week with the in-law -- oh man, SO GOOD!! But I hurt SO BAD afterwards and virtually the whole evening. Doesn't mean I won't eat another burger, but I was shocked with how I felt. I have a horrible weakness for peanut butter, and eat it, maybe too much, but even though its high in calories, its natural {if you buy the right kind I guess} and with the amount of it that I eat, by conventional thinking, I should never loose weight, but I do!

I've been actively changing my eating habits, growing, learning, evolving etc since January -- so this all didn't happen overnight for sure. Gradually your taste buds change. Once you come off the addictive food {because don't get it twisted, all this processed food is intended to be addictive and that is why we CRAVE it so badly}, but once you basically detox, all you want is the good stuff and THAT becomes more than satisfying. And no, the excuse that eating produce is too expensive is not valid. I really struggled with this part of it. I kept saying, fruit and veggies are too expensive. The prove was in the pudding. Its not! You get creative, see what your options are, shop "in-season," buy more of the cheaper produce and splurge when you can. Soon, you realize once you stop buying the crap food {ie frozen meals, already prepared meals, snack bars, etc}, it all equals out in the end ... EXCEPT you're way healthier. Instead of buying 100 calorie snacks (where there is like 6 in a box for over $2-3), I now buy oranges by the bag where there are 15 to a bag for $2-3!!! And you know what, it will travel just as easy as the pre-package stuff! See -- easy!!

I've learned that I have to be forgiving, be patient, challenge myself and that its all a process ... its all a journey.

I encourage EVERYONE to take charge of your life, make it a healthy one ... we only get one life!!! I've become so much more interested in the quality of life versus the quantity. I want us all to be happy, to be fulfilled, to truly FEEL GOOD for once!!! This is the way I take care of myself now and I deserve it ... WE ALL DO!!! Today, I hope we all make positive choices for ourselves -- it truly makes a difference!

For now, I'm basking in the reward of making good choices!! :)

1st School Field Trip

Today was Jocelyn's FIRST school field trip! :)

Where did they go?

To the Topeka Zoo!!!

 

We saw lions and tigers and bears -- OH MY!!

 

Ok, not really. Well, those animals were there of course, but they were too far away for Jocelyn to actually see. That's okay though.

 

Jocelyn and I traveled to the zoo in our van with the intentions of meeting the rest of the class there. With this whole Botox and no head control thing, I would not even entertain the idea of her riding the school bus. The combination of the vibration and the noise in general on the bus would have caused Jocelyn to totally shut down before we even got to the zoo.

 

Even though the zoo is twice as far from our house than the school, we arrived even earlier than on a normal preschool day. Guess we were both excited for the field trip.

 

We ended up having quite a bit of time to kill before the school bus arrived. Luckily for Jocelyn, she got in her morning nap, and we had a little time to take pictures and play together.

{I sure do love our baby-girl!!!}

{Pure ooey-gooey sweetness!}



There were SO MANY kids and adults at the zoo today.

 

IT.WAS.A.MADHOUSE!!!

 

Apparently, going to the zoo at the end of the zoo year is the popular thing to do. There were even school buses from the Lawrence school districts. Craziness I tell -- just absolute (slightly control) chaos! haha As kids walked by us, they were intrigued with Jocie's wheelchair to say the least. One kid pointed and yelled "whoooooa, look at her stroller! Its all sorts of souped up!" hahaha Too funny!

{A fraction of the waiting line!}

When we first got into the zoo, the first up on the list were the Orangutans. There was a HUGE one in there that I'd never seen before, and all the kids were excited to see him/her, except they were annoyed that it was so lazy -- made me laugh.

We cruised on through the zoo and found a cave-like area. Inside the "cave" was a pretty waterfall in which Jocie loved. Not sure if it was because she could actually SEE it since it was in motion, or if it was because the sound was interesting and soothing. Maybe both.

As a class, we bobbed and weaved through the waves of little people to see the lions, gorillas, elephants, hippos, etc. None of which particularly appealed to Jocelyn, but that was more than likely because she couldn't really see them.

During this period of the zoo she sort of shut down for a little bit.

When we got to the giraffes, she seemed to perk up and was interested in them. It helped that they were still inside and in a small space.

 

Another area of the zoo that was entirely too cramped, but that Jocelyn had fun in, was the rain forest section. We didn't actually explore all around in there like the other kids (absolutely too overwhelming), but we found a little spot, sang a few songs and played with different colored and textured leaves. She really liked this part I think.

 

By this time, all the kids were hungry and needed a break. Yay for snack time!

And after snack (and no, Jocelyn didn't "eat" a snack, but she still sits with them), she was almost all tapped out for the day as you can see from the picture below.

Right before it was time to leave, we all hit up one more spot -- The Gators!!!

The little baby gators were the cutest! These were approximately a year old.

And wouldn't you know, little miss texture sensitive girl was WILLING to touch a baby gator!!! Say whaaaaat? I wish I would've had my camera ready the first time, but by the third time, I snapped a picture. Not the best, but that's okay. Her normal response to something like this would be to cry, totally resist, or make this god awful butt hole looking face hahaha.

It might not be a big deal to some, but I was so pleased that Jocelyn was watching the other kids, willing to touch the leaves and gators, and overall, that she didn't sleep through the whole zoo visit. We went with some friends last summer and she slept the entire time. The time after that, Justin and I took her, and she was so upset she vomited the entire time. :( Definitely not a fun time for anyone!

She tends to sleep when she doesn't want to engage, is overwhelmed/over-stimulated or simply because she tires so easily.

It was a great day for a trip to the zoo and great memories were made!!