It was a day about me, my own mother ... my sister ... and all my mama friends. Right?
For me, Mother's Day doesn't feel like "my day" because it truly is all about Jocelyn. Because of her, this special day has so much meaning. Its a day where I want to spend every moment with her {as if I don't already}, but I didn't want to do anything but laugh, play, giggle ... do enjoyable things.
Mother's day really takes on a new meaning once you have a child -- or at least it did/does for me. I never saw that coming. There are many holiday's, days of recognition, etc that are celebrated throughout the year, and many I could care less about. They seem like any other day. For some reason, Mother's Day is very important to me. Its not that I'm any less of a mother, or that I appreciate being the mother to Jocelyn, any less on any other day; but for some reason, "Mother's Day" is a day where I am encouraged to really focus on what being a mother is all about.
Yesterday, I thought about how rewarding it is to be a mother, how challenging and difficult it is, how many times I have NO CLUE what I'm doing, how sometimes I'm just praying to get through the day, how I would do absolutely ANYTHING for a smile on my baby-girl's face, how bizarre it is to see your own physical features and mannerisms in your "mini-you," how you pray endlessly for your child, how you worry yet remain hopeful for the future, how long you truly can go without sleep, how sometimes you have to block out the screaming and crying because you know what is best for your child, how sometimes you miss your "old life" that you've given up but you wouldn't go back for anything, and how I would do whatever it took - even if it meant my life - for Jocelyn.
Jocelyn has taught me more in her three short years than I have learned over the past 27 years!!! Sacrifice ... true love ... fear ... hope ... beauty ... the true meaning of life. Things I would have never known, never fully understood otherwise. I know, kind of sappy, but its the truth!!
Having a child somehow changes how you think, feel and live in a blink of an eye.
This Mother's Day was no different than the ones in the past {other than Justin's gone again} -- Jocelyn and I spent it together -- as intended!!
We had a yummy breakfast and bath-time fun in the morning.
Afterwards, we picked some lilacs from the yard. They are definitely in full bloom and smell incredible. They are so gorgeous!!
I snapped a picture of my Mother's Day flowers with the artwork that the teachers help Jocelyn make for me. The actual hand holding my paper flowers is a tracing of Jocie's hand. Love it! Her hand will never be smaller than it is in this moment today. I literally try to savor every little thing because nothing ever stays the same.
We also finished up an art project for our Hippotherapist and friend. Peggy wanted to give us a free therapy session with "Big Al" as a mother's day gift, and we wanted to give her something in return. Well that, and we simply appreciate her. I didn't have any new ideas at the moment, so we made another crayon monogram. Jocie picked the paint color for the frame, the paper color and her handprint color. She coordinated things well I thought! :) I had to do all the hot gluing of course, but it turned out cute and was a much easier letter to create! haha
After our flower picking & finishing up our art project, we went to the lake early in the morning for a jog and enjoyed the beautiful weather. We virtually had the entire lake to ourselves which I always love. The sound of the trees rustling in the cool breeze was so refreshing & perfect, loved hearing the birds singing and the sun was warm and inviting -- it was a perfect morning.
Apparently Jocelyn was more than comfortable on our jog.
After our jog, we had lunch. I made my own special Mother's Day meal with a new ingredient that I've never tried -- Jicama! NEW.FOUND.FAVORITE!!!
Doesn't this look amazing?? It tasted phenomenal!
Once we were finished with lunch, we then headed over to Baldwin City for a little horse riding action. We truly couldn't have asked for better weather yesterday -- absolutely perfect. It is always so nice to visit with Peggy and her daughter, and she loved the gift of course. The entire therapy session was really hard for Jocelyn. Ever since Botox, she is struggling so much to hold her head up as it keeps falling to her left side which is her weaker side. Not only is this beyond frustrating for us both, but she's worrying me because when her head hangs to the left, its stretching out that right side and pulling on her shunt tubing. I can literally see the tubing being pulled taunt and let me tell you, if I can see that, then I KNOW its putting strain on the shunt insertion site too which is located inside her brain ventricle. I'm praying this strain is not causing the shunt to be pulled from the ventricle because that would mean yet another shunt revision, and to be honest, I truly can't handle that right now. :(
Even though it was a lot of hard work to ride Al, I snapped the perfect picture of Boogs. You can really see how tall she is here, both her back and neck look really good, and her excited face makes it all worth it haha.
Jocie didn't get much of a nap the entire day, so after riding for 30 minutes and having to work harder than normal, she was exhausted. While she chilled out in the van and watched some Elmo, I got the chance to meet another special needs mom that was starting her session with Peggy. Come to find out, Peggy had us both come yesterday with the intention of meeting. The lady's name was Kristi and her son's name was Gage, who is 4 year's old. Although him and Jocelyn's diagnoses are different, they present similarly. We talked for a little while, exchanged stories, etc and I gave her my information. She seemed really nice and hoping we can be friends since we live so close. We shall see. :)
Since we have to go through Lawrence to get back home, I decided to swing through town and treat myself to a yummy Starbucks drink. My favorite poison? Sugar-free skinny cinnamon dolce latte! Holy Mary GOODNESS!! :) Drinking a mug of such goodness warrants a picture! haha
By the time we got home, it was time for supper and to wind down for the day.
Justin texted me that evening saying he was going to Mellow Mushroom {which in case you didn't know it, in Alabama, this is the best place EVER to eat pizza!!!}. I was disappointed because even though he had the entire day off, he still hadn't called me for Mother's Day. He sort of see these types of "holidays" as "made up-Hallmark-money sucking" days, but that's not what days like these are ... at least not for me. I'm not one that is looking for gifts, big splurges, etc ... I just want to spend it with my child, my family and make memories. Its important to me. After his supper he did call, and then I had him and Jocie Skype which is always so cute because Jocie turns into such a huge giggle-box.
Jocie and I ended the day with lots of tickles and hugs -- I LOVE when she hugs me haha!! Perfect end to a wonderful day!!
Man, I sure do love that she's made me a mama -- and this Mother's Day -- I'm truly grateful to have her!!!!!
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