This-n-That

Not too much has been going on around here in the Powers' household. We've been staying inside where its warm and away from the bitter coldness and people's nasty germs! Seems like everyone we know is starting to get sick, actually sick or getting over an awful bug. So far this winter, we have all been healthy ... trying to keep it that way {key word: TRYING} ... but I'm sure soon enough it will hit one of us.

We actually didn't go to one single place this Christmas. Kind of weird, but it was nice to be HOME! We did pack up the van and head out to go see my family on Thursday the 27th {I even got up at 4:30am to ensure we were all on the road by 6am because Claflin is far away and wanted to make sure we got plenty of time with everyone}, but just as we were getting on the road and almost hit the Interstate, my mom texted me to let me know that my nephew was sick and vomiting throughout the night. I'm thankful she let us know so we didn't get sick as well, mostly so Jocelyn didn't get sick, but I was also bummed that we weren't going to see my nephews before they headed back to Florida. I don't get to see my nieces and nephews enough ... always miss them! It's a lot of work to leave the house for an extended period of time {many truly don't understand ... its hard for parents with small kids in general, but things are different with/for us and we always have so much to bring "just in case" etc}.

So like I said, we haven't been doing much besides being silly ...

{On a side note, Justin's been growing out his stache just to drive me nuts!!!}

{She was REALLY wanting to chew on this bottle and I grabbed my camera as fast as I could because we couldn't stop laughing -- definitely one of those "you had to be there" moments because she was seriously almost growling haha}

Doing some studying for an another upcoming schooling for the military ...

I've been enjoying our wall of Christmas cards this year and see it all day long since its on the inside of the front door.

Last year I had them all on my fridge, but now that we have a different fridge with the freezer part on the bottom and double doors at the top, that wasn't such a good idea. I think I didn't take down my 2011 Christmas/photo cards until we moved in April/May!! Can you believe that? They always make me smile, feel loved and I enjoy seeing my friends and family's smiling faces. Guess I just plain like them!! :)

All week long we've also been doing our normal therapy stuff but not intensely whatsoever!! Its so easy to get burnt out as progress is slow ... if any. :(

{I look SOOOO tired! I'm sure I was haha and yes, those are books to
make the bench taller haha Yous gots to do whats you gots to do!}

{Working on some walking while being fascinated with the condensation on the door}

{Of course we've got to spend some time in the stander -- at least she was smiling}

{And our least favorite? Floor work!}

In other news, my newest addiction this past month has been recycling.

Is that lame?!?!

 

I can't help it -- I'm totally hooked for some reason. Now that we are living in Shawnee County and they implemented an easy recycling system, there is no reason not too. No matter if you participate or not, it will still cost you $4 a month {which is super cheap in my books ... not to mention that I'm thankful for that its not pricey because if you have no choice in the matter, at least its not an expensive one!}.

 

I've always wanted to recycle but in the past its been quite a bit of work to sort, haul and then unload it all. Oh, and not to mention in many towns, you have to be put on a waiting list for them to come by your house for pick ups! Really?? No wonder more people don't recycle.

 

So anyways, they gave us a huge, clean trash can that everything can be piled into with no required sorting. I'm honestly embarrassed by how much we should have been recycling all along. In just two weeks, I have the thing nearly full!! I get after Justin now because I'm like "Hey! Don't throw that in the trash honey ... it just needs to be rinsed and put in recycling."

 

I'm sure you can imagine how thrilled he is with me right now!! haha

 

I've also totally fallen in love with Nutiva Coconut Oil.

It has a true coconut smell and not that sweet, sticky fake coconut smell. Its ridiculous how many ways you can use this stuff, but my personal favorite lately, is simply using it directly on my body!! If you put some in a bowl and use a mixer, it turns into a smooth, fluffy, whipped mixture that instantly melts on your skin. Love the silkiness and that its natural.

If you're interested {I found it interesting and have tried many of these "uses" out already}, you can click HERE to see a variety of uses for coconut oil. I'm not saying all the uses listed really work, but I have discovered that several do! :)

A little bit of personal tidbit --

          I've ALWAYS had a problem with razor burn/bump along my bikini line {I hate hairiness ... TMI? ... can't help it ... I do!!! And MANY of us deal with this issue ... both men and women!}, but its always so painful and unsightly. Seriously, no one wants to see that!!

          But this stuff is EXCELLENT as "aftershave" and it virtually takes none! It doesn't clog the pores, smooths skin, heals with it anti-inflammatory/anti-bacterial properties and it smells super super good!!!! Since I've been using it? No burn ... no bumps! Besides, what girl doesn't want extra supple skin?

Speaking of things I'm stoked about ... the hubby ran to Subway and grabbed us sandwiches for lunch {for all of you that don't know, I use to work at Subway during my high school days and I still love love LOOOOVE it!!!}, and we both ate for under $5! Can you believe that?? Now, they were cold cut combos and I'm not a huge fan of those, but for that cheap, I'll down one with a happy face! Besides, when you pair any sandwich with Arts & Marys Jalapeno Chips {BEST.CHIPS.IN.THE.WORLD!!!}?? You got a hell of a meal!! :)

Now that I have a full and satisfied belly ... perhaps its nap time?

Christmas Memories!

We are enjoying being together as a family this year during this Christmas season. Last year, we weren't as fortunate with Justin being deployed to Kuwait. Now that Jocelyn is a little older, its especially nice that we get to be together to make sweet memories.

Christmas Eve was a fun one last night. We didn't go anywhere, but we filled the day and evening with good stuff. We mostly played together, made lots of "bad-for-you" foods and of course ate lots.

Part of the yummy festivities included making Nutella cookies and chocolate-butterscotch fudge {both of which I've never made}, and a new banana bread recipe which turned out to not be our favorite, but still decent.

{We made up a goodie-tray and took some to our neighbors. It brought
a smile to their faces, so our ultimate goal was achieved! :)}

The fudge was a pleasant tasty surprise, but the Nutella cookies were a homerun with the hubs!

{Such a handsome and mostly sweet fella!}

We didn't stop with those treats -- We still needed something for supper!

          HOMEMADE PIZZAS were the desired Christmas Eve meal!

{We both used basically the same toppings but mine totally tasted better -- just ask me! The toppings? Lots-o-sauce, pepperoni, canadian bacon, fresh cut pineapple, jalapenos and mixed cheeses. I honestly can't remember the last time I had such a good pizza!!!}

We've had Boogie's stocking hanging for a while {she has a super cute pink sock money that plays Christmas music and of course she's now terrified of it ... poor girl!}, but before we went to bed, Justin says "We can't forget to hang our stockings for Santa to fill!" We've never bought ourselves stockings, so he did some improvising.

{He's so silly and I love him all the more for it!}

Then comes our Christmas morning.

Boogs thought it was an excellent idea to make sure we all were awaken with giggles at 4:45am. She has been sleeping relatively good since giving her melatonin, but today she was rearing and ready to go! Surprisingly we were pretty awake and indulged in her early morning fiasco.

We spent the wee-early morning hours cuddling in the recliners watching "Elf" -- Great way to start the morning!

{She's so full of laughter in the mornings! I was holding her new PJ's
and candy that was in her stocking. She's getting so big that Santa
had to bring 4T PJ's and she's not even 3 years-old!!}

Before we opened presents, we made our first homemade donuts and Boogie even got to Skype with her Aunt Cindy which is one of her top things to do!

Justin wanted to be in charge of making the donuts and I of course was not going to object one single bit!

{The top picture is Jib's "dough raising" techniques haha -- He was busy at it!}

{They were actually pretty good! Justin made a coconut flavored icing -- YUM!}

After we all had full belly's, it was present opening time!!!

We didn't buy a whole lot of gifts -- we never seem too -- and I like that actually! :0)

Jocie doesn't care what she gets, she wouldn't care if she didn't get anything to be honest. She just wants to have fun and get attention ... all of which she gets lots of!

My favorite "excitement" picture?

{I can't believe I was able to snap this shot but its pure awesomeness!!!}

{Simple toy = simple pleasure!}

{This little vibrating bug cost $2 and it was instant love!! She giggled and giggled when I ran it up and down her back. This little sucker is powerful because her whole hand will vibrate!}

We even got each other Christmas gifts this year. Justin said he loved his coupon book the most which of course made the effort worthwile! :)

And the best part?
          Just simply being able to hug and love and kiss on one another!

Boogs is seriously the sweetest thing I've ever laid eyes on.

And one of my most favorite pictures of the day?

Boogie was loving how crazy we were getting with the wrapping paper. She loves to tear things and thought it was the best thing on earth when we were crunchy it and making it rain shiny paper haha.

I'm so thankful for today ...

          Getting to be with my family ... all day ... not having to be anywhere ... not leaving to go to one single place and just enjoy one another? That is truly better than any possession on earth.

Thank you sweet Jesus for giving and blessing me so much! Today as I celebrate being with my family, I also celebrate you my beloved Jesus. Happy birthday King of Kings!!

Dirty in Public -- Our Dilemma

Here's our dilemma ...

What do we do when Jocie is dirty, in need of a diaper change, and we are out and about in public?

Use a baby changing station you say?

Why sure, that would work ... in the past! And you would be surprised how many businesses do not even have one, or a handicap stall!

Now that Boogie is nearly 3 years old, over 3 feet tall and over 30lbs; those little baby changing stations no longer work. If we get rrrreally lucky, we sometimes find an extra large changing station or better yet, a counter or bench; but that rarely ever happens.

So if you were us, if you had a child like our sweet Jocelyn that was unable to stand, has difficulty sitting independently at times, unable to assist and help you with changing themselves, that continues to grow larger with each day passing and with a real likelihood that they may perhaps always be in diapers ... what would YOU do as his or her parent?

I hate even thinking about Boogie being in grade school, high school, a young adult ... and perhaps still requiring a diaper for her toileting needs {on a side note: the Kansas Department on Aging (KDOA) would slap you up side your head if you ever refer to an adult as wearing a 'diaper'...I still remember a few things from my employment days ;)}.

Our ability to control both our urinary and bowel needs, are controlled by our muscles which in turn, are controlled by our brain. Since Jocie has had extensive damage to her brain, she has problems controlling her muscles {which of course is what gives her the diagnosis of cerebral palsy} and even that ability to communicate that she has to go in the first place. Unfortunately, Jocelyn has been diagnosed with quadriplegic cerebral palsy, so the degree of her muscle tone &/or strength that is affected, is relativity significant and plays a large part in dictating her ability to control toileting functions. As if that's not enough, we then of course have the communication piece which is just as important as muscle control.

Kind of feel like that's two strikes against us. :(

When you first find out that your child has CP, their future toileting ability is totally not on your radar. But as your child grows, develops and you begin to plan future needs ... this aspect becomes huge. Its a huge ordeal as a parent and what that means for you, but definitely also what that means for Jocelyn. Its a gigantic milestone when a child is officially potty-trained, and even a more momentous occasion when a child has CP. I pray that one day we can achieve this desired goal.

Until we are blessed with toileting abilities {and I pray so hard that God grants us this prayer}, we will continue to have to face this problem head on.

So again, what would you do?

Here have been the options in the past:

1. We now have a van and the back seats have been removed. When its feasible, we change Jocelyn in the back and put any dirty/soiled diapers &/or clothes into plastic bags and dispose of them later. Sometimes this doesn't work because like it is now, its cold ... or, when we are in the middle of shopping and Boogs requires a change right then. After you are already in a store, with a full shopping cart, would you take your child out to the van to change them? No way!
2. The second option has been to simply do our best with whatever changing table/station we can find. Recently this has gotten pretty scary and it simply is no longer a safe option.
3. Use a family restroom and lay down a whole bunch of paper towels or a trash bag that is longer than Jocie's body so that shes not laying on the nasty, disgusting floor. The problem? There are rarely family restrooms and sometimes there aren't even paper towels.
4. Bring a blanket or towel along and use that on the floor as a barrier. Once you are done using it though, then what? Roll it up and put it in the backpack? No way! Gross! Put it inside a trash bag and then inside the backpack? Perhaps, but still pretty gross and takes up so much room.

Right now while Jocelyn is still light enough {and I use this loosely because she is a HEAVY nearly 3 year-old. Boogie might not look like she weighs a lot, but when a child has low tone and doesn't assist you with some of their weight when you go to lift them, its almost like dead weight and making it all the more awkward}. Once Jocelyn becomes older and heavier, we will have to reevaluate our options.

It was suggested for us to change Jocelyn in her wheelchair {the back of her seat reclines fairly well} or to use the Tomato Jogger Stroller that we've recently acquired {this thing completely lays flat which is actually pretty awesome!}. The problem with both? Right now, changing Jocie in her wheelchair doesn't work because we need more space {she gets pretty messy ... like, a need for a whole new outfit messy} and her hips hurt pretty bad. The jogger would work great, but it's really long and not ideal for shopping in stores.

Other suggestions that we've received when asking other special needs parents were "Don't go out in public" {uhm, yea ... that was helpful and yes, it's extremely hard taking Jocie out and about, but its GOOD for her and me!}, or "Keep your daughter at home while only one of you go out" {again, its good for Jocie to get out, and not to mention that the hubby is often gone so then what?}, and others say that they double-diaper their child {I don't particularly know how this would be helpful or good for any child, let alone one like ours that often needs a wardrobe change}. None of these ideas would work for us, so we started brain-storming.

Justin's idea:
          A portable, collapsible cot!

Not a bad idea eh? He is borderline genius but don't tell him I said that!
     If we use something like this, then we wouldn't have to change Jocie ON THE FILTHY FLOOR, it fits inside its own tote bag and can be easily cleaned.

Bad thing?
     Its relativity heavy, long and more expensive.

The actual idea that's going to be implemented starting now:
     {until Jocie's too heavy to safely get up off the floor that is}
          A yoga mat inside a yoga mat carrier!!!

The perks?

     Its lightweight, can easily be disinfected, portable, inexpensive {mat and bag together only cost $17!} and will attach to Boogies wheelchair easily!! I love that I found this cloth, cinchable bag to house the yoga mat so that this will prevent contamination of the diaper bag which contains Jocie's feeding supplies, etc. With a permanent marker we labeled one side "FLOOR" and the other side "CHANGE." Oh, and look, that little pouch on the outside will hold disinfectant wipes so we can clean the mat right after using it!! Yay! Oh, and look again, we subconsciously got K-State colors hahaha double yay!!!!

Hopefully this solution will work well for a long while, or like I said, until we hopefully achieve some form of potty-training!

My Sister Sent "Warmth"

How did she do that you ask?

She sent me her SENSEO!!

 

My sisters had her Senseo for probably 5 years or so, and ever since I had a cup of coffee at her house with this sucker, I have wanted one! They aren't terribly expensive {nothing like a Keurig} but it was a "want" of mine and not a "need" because I have an old traditional large pot coffeemaker, so I never could seem to make myself buy one.

 

Luckily, my sister's husband is a coffee fanatic and has this super fancy coffee machine, so she didn't need her Senseo anymore. So like the good big sis she is, she sent it to meeeeee!

 

Not only that, but since she sent me her Senseo, I've been having a heck of a time finding coffee pods in town. So what did she do? She took that extra, thoughtful step and yesterday, by total surprise, I got like over 50 coffee pods in the mail!!

 

          ***SQUEAL***

{Look at all this deliciousness!!! The ones in the zip-lock bags are
Cafe Classics, Donut Shop Classics and Marley Coffee variety packs}

I was so surprised when I opened the box to find all this coffee because that meant I was actually going to get to use the Senseo now -- I was acting like a kid who just got that "must have" toy or that delicious piece of candy. I literally was squealing! haha

 

This morning my flavor choice was cinnamon coffee cake and Justin had french vanilla cruller. Don't those sound delicious? Then, right before Boogs and I headed out the door to go to therapy, I had to try another one. The best part? It took SECONDS!

{Yes, I took a picture ... I said I was excited dang it!}

The next one I tried was called jelly filled {I thought it said jelly fish haha mmmm "this coffee is so salty" hahaha}. Anyways, the jelly filled flavor was AWESOME! When I opened the package I instantly smelled jelly. Now, if your like me, both my mind and face said "eeewwww ... jelly?" I mean, don't get me wrong, I like jelly and all, but its not like "woohoo! JELLY!!!" haha But so far, this is my favorite! SO GOOD!

 

Look at how good this coffee looks!

Yum right??!!! :)

 

I know to many, something like this might not be a big deal, but I've been wanting something like this for a while, and my sister didn't have to take the time and money to mail it to me. She could've kept it, sold it, whatever ... but I'm thankful she thought of me and wanted me to have it!!!

 

Thank you, thank you sissy!! Because of you, now I'll have yummy warm drinks to get me through the winter!! 

Homemade for the Hubs

With today being a snow-day, and with Boogs feeling so crummy and sleeping quite a bit,

{not sure if she feels crappy because we messed with her shunt yesterday, or

if its simply that this bitter weather makes her muscles more tight which in turns

causes her joints to hurt. Either way, she's been a whiny, cranky bear today}

but I managed to find some time to make the sweet hubs a homemade Christmas present.

What did I make?

          A Coupon Book!!!

Way back when we first started dating, which was like 10 years ago or longer, I made something like this for him for Valentine's Day and he loved it. As the years pass by, its easy to let the simple things slip right on by as well. So this year, I thought I would get back to something heartfelt, meaningful and definitely a gift that will keep on giving!!

Here is an example of the coupons I made -- The PG version of them anyways haha -- ya'll don't need {or WANT} to see the others! C'mon, I'm his wifey ... gotta make it fun! ;)

I was thrilled that I found vintage looking paper and little ways to decorate and dress them up them on the computer before I printed them. I was going to make super cute ones with all types of embellishments, then stopped and thought to myself "Who's my husband again?" and then remembered he wouldn't be into that!! So this is about as fancy as he'd want which is a-okay with me! :)

After making up approximately 50 cards, I printed one of us and tied it all together with some leather string and a cute epoxy brad {on a side note, I didn't know that the little tab thingies I use a lot, were called epoxy brads until my friend Sarah told me hahaha}.

Here's how it will look when Justin opens his present in only FIVE DAYS!!! {Can't believe Christmas is in 5 days!!!}

{There actually isn't a brown spot on Jib's nose -- some of the leather came off and I didn't see it until now. It won't be there later obviously, but I think they turned out great, will make him smile, feel special and I'm sure he'll love all the fun coupons inside}

Some people don't really like homemade things, but they take time, energy and thought so I always feel good about making and giving them.

I'll have to post later what I made for some of the sweet gals in my life!

"I Like Myself!"

Over the weekend, my parents came to visit. We ate great food {and WAY too much of it}, had good conversation and Boogie got lots of love from her grammie & grampie!

Grammie made sure she took lots of cute piccys of Miss Jocelyn!

Daddy and I even got yummy treats from the parentals -- cinnamon & caramel popcorn from Topsy's and homemade crackers! Double-the-yum!

My parents wanted to go to Barnes & Nobles Sunday morning and pick out some cute books for Boogie as Christmas presents.

THERE IS ALWAYS SO MANY TO CHOOSE FROM!!!

Good problem to have! :)

My mom perhaps found the best children's book ever!

The book is called I Like Myself! by Karen Beaumont
 
This book has all the qualities every children's book should have: colorful pages, fun pictures and a good story.

I love that Jocie likes this book because it also has a good message that would do everyone good to hear.

So, like the crazy person I am ... I'm going to write the story.

I like myself! I'm glad I'm me.
There's no one else I'd rather be.
I like my eyes, my ears, my nose. I like my fingers and my toes.
I like me wild.
I like me tame.
I like me different and the same.
I like me fast.
I like me slow.
I like me everywhere I go.
I like me on the inside, too, for all I think and say and do.
Inside, outside, upside down, from head to toe and all around, I like it all!
It all is me!
And me is all I want to be.
And I don't care in any way what someone else may think or say.
I may be called a silly nut or crazy cuckoo bird - so what?
I'm having too much fun, you see, for anything to bother me!
Even when I look a mess, I still don't like me any less,
'Cause nothing in this world, you know, can change what's deep inside, and so ...
No matter if they stop and stare, no person
Ever
Anywhere
Can make me feel that what they see is all there really is to me.
I'd still like me with fleas or warts, or with a silly snout that snorts,
Or knobbly knees or hippo hips or purple polka-dotted lips,
Or beaver breath or stinky toes or horns protruding from my nose,
Or - YIKES! - with spikes all down my spine, or hair that's like a porcupine.
I still would be the same, you see ...
I like myself because I'm ME!

Isn't this THE BEST message anyone could hear? And especially a child! Can't help but think that the child inside of us all could benefit from loving ourselves a little bit more, and if we all did, the world would probably be a much happier place. We are all guilty of being able to point out what we don't like about ourselves, whether its something physical, an ability we lack, wishing we had a talent, that we were more social or more friendly, that we could cook or bake, be able to fix our cars or house without breaking a sweat ... the list is endless ... the negative is easy to focus on!

It's hard to love others if you don't also love yourself, and I'm talking about the "love yourself" with no stipulations or reservations!

My favorite part of the book was this little portion ...

"No matter if they stop and stare, no person
EVER anywhere can make me feel that
what THEY SEE is all there really is to me!"

 

Perhaps I liked this section so much because people stare at Jocelyn, and myself, so often and who knows what they are thinking. Half the time I don't really want to know. But as luck would have it, I was reading this exact book to Jocie at the store to see if she was even interested in it before my parents bought it for her, and right before we got to this part of the book, some lady walked all the way over to where we were sitting, just to stand in front of Jocelyn and gawk, then walked away.

She didn't say a single word. She simply stood in front of Boogie, gave her the "up/down" a few times, then walked off.

It was the most ridiculous thing and she couldn't have been more obvious. I even asked my mom, "Did that lady seriously just walk all the way over here just to get a better look at Jocelyn?" I had to ask my mom because I thought surely I was imagining it! Nope! Total rudeness was written all over that situation.

 

Since Jocelyn does stand out in so many magnificent ways, I truly do hope that she knows even if people do "stop and stare," that there is SO MUCH MORE to her than they will ever have the pleasure to see!

Broken-Hearted

There is so much sadness and pain right now that seems to be effecting everyone! Its the topic of every social network and every channel is talking about the shooting in Newtown, Connecticut, as they should be, and every time my mind wonders to this horrific crime, I find that I get angry and yet want to bawl my eyes out!

You don't have to know those families, the school, that community; for this whole ordeal to effect you on a personal level. This massacre effects everyone because the reality is that this could happen anywhere at anytime. You start to realize you really aren't safe anywhere. You think the simplest of places aren't a threat but they are, or could be. You realize the mall, the movie theatre, church, walking down the street ... a school ... aren't "safe places."

Many have not forgotten the 2007 shooting at Virginia Tech that left 32 people dead, but there is something about a shooting spree in an elementary school that is even more hideous. There really are no words to even describe this situation.

When you drop your kid off at school sure you might think "I hope they have a good day" or "I hope they don't get picked on" or something like that but you never, ever think "This might be the very last time I ever see, hear, touch, smell, kiss, hold my child!" You never think someone has the devil himself inside of him or her, and is capable of walking into your child's school and slaughter a whole slew of children.

The name Adam Lanza will always coincide with the image of a monster in my mind.

Its devastating to lose anyone, but something is particularly difficult to swallow about your loved one being taken by the hands of someone else. Those staff members that died by this mans hands, probably died from protecting those kids, loving those kids ... because they "got in his way" or because he had some personal vendetta against them. They are heros! And the children {My eyes are literally filling with tears as I sit here} ... he had to look at those children's terrified faces, push past any humanity that we all have inside of us, then consciously pull that trigger knowing he was the one that was sealing their fate of premature death.

I don't care who people choose to blame: guns themselves or gun control, lack of God in the school system, Lanza's childhood or possible psych issues, his upbringing or parents, society, that he never "fit-in" ... blah blah blah.

I blame HIM and him alone!

You can't fix people.You can't MAKE them seek help. You can't stop people from doing wrong. You can't help those that don't want to help themselves.

Sure, you can offer help, open the door for them to step through, be supportive and proactive, try and find solutions, a different outlet, offer guidance, education, medicate, counsel and so on. But unfortunately, you can't stop stuff like this. So what do you do?

I wish I knew.

Make no mistake, the devil is real and working hard in this world to take over us all. One by one he wants to take over each of our hearts, dictate our actions and motives, reside as our "King," but he is not more powerful than God ... he isn't! Even through this, I know that God is more powerful. I will not, nor do I want to ever hear from someones lips, that God has a purpose for all of this!! Will God reign victorious through this chaotic, painful, devastating mess? Yes! But never will there be a purpose or a reason for this!

There is no way to comprehend this type of tragedy although many of us will try. After all, we have to don't we? How do you go on and function normally if you don't try to internalize something like this, make sense of it or come to terms that this is our worlds reality? Do you make yourself not think about it? Try to simply forget in regards to "Out of sight, out of mind?" How do you go about your day-to-day business if this is always in the back of your mind?

You can't!!! But somehow we all will.

Yesterday, like many of us, you think of your own children. I looked at Jocelyn, in her wheelchair, so physically dependent and thought "She couldn't even run away ... she might not even have understood what was going on or that she was in danger ... what would her fate have been?" And even as I type the thoughts that ran through my head, my heart physically aches and hot tears sting my face. I would be utterly destroyed if she was taken from me in such a vicious way. Justin hates when I think like this, and definitely doesn't like me sharing these fears out loud to him, but again, this is my truth and fear! Those children that survivied will never forget what they've been through and it will echo throughout their entire lives. We all have fears as individuals and definitely when it comes to our children.

Yesterday, the worse fear imaginable for 20 parents came to pass. Yesterday, 6 adults lost their lives. Yesterday, a community was shattered. Yesterday ...

... countless lives were forever changed by one persons actions!

ONE PERSON!

I often hear, "How much can ONE PERSON do? How can ONE PERSON change anything?"

This is how!

My heart is utterly broken and forever changed!

TARC Christmas Party

Tonight we all ate an early supper and ventured over to the TARC Christmas Party!

 

Make no mistake -- the place was hoppin'!

 

When we arrived, we were given a number for when we could see Santa, and we were directed to both the "arts & crafts room" and the "cookies and play room." To our surprise, both places were full of eager families, but the packed house simply meant all the hard work from the TARC staff was well worth it. The entire time we were there, the TARC staff were busy bustling and greeting everyone with smiles and information, refilling cookies, answering questions and ensuring all had a good time.

 

There were way too many people in the cookie room for us to fit in there with Jocelyn's wheelchair {Of course that'd be the most favorite room right?! Who doesn't want a cookie?} and all the tables in the craft room were taken, so we just made ourselves at home in front of the TARC's big, beautiful Christmas tree, played games and sang Boogie's favorite songs!

{This makes my heart melt!}

 

And of course we got to see Santa!!! This was hands down, without a doubt, THE BEST SANTA that Justin and I have seen to date. He was fun, flexible, goofy, creative with his poses and comfortable with kids of all abilities ... talk about refreshing!

 

 

My camera doesn't snap pictures real fast, but the TARC staff took free pictures with their fancy camera, and I'll get a copy here in a few days.

 

Excited to see what cuteness they captured!!

 

I love evenings like tonight were we can go some place as a family, have fun and walk away with good memories and a keepsake.

Niceness at Every Turn

Outings have been SO NICE lately for Jocelyn and I!!!

I don't know if its the "Christmas Spirit" in the air, if we are willing the good mojo to find us or what; but I am loving every minute of it.

Last week when her and I ventured out to Hobby Lobby {this place is dangerous for most women I think} we had numerous people inside the store that were helpful, friendly and genuinely caring. Not only did the staff help me to find the things I was looking for quickly and easily, but so many people were talking to Jocelyn instead of doing that staring thing that we get so often.

When we left the store {I had an overflowing buggy because of all the gift baskets I bought} and as we were crossing the parking lot {you know that part of the parking lot that is just right outside the automatic doors that's loaded with inattentive drivers?} well right there, the wind caught one of my bags and it flew out of the cart and down the street. 

Of course I was doing our normal routine of pushing Jocie in her wheelchair and pulling the cart so I didn't want to stop in the middle of the road to retrieve the bag because sure as shit one of us was going to get hit. Well, I did this awkward little dance jig trying to figure out what I was going to do first but to my surprise, one lady threw her car in park, jumped out and as she was on her way to grabbing my bag, so did this other guy. I was like "Wow! You both are so kind ... thank you so much!!!" Their simple act of kindness was so helpful and put that extra bounce in my step all day!!

On Saturday, during the early afternoon, Jocelyn and I went to the YWCA in Topeka to go swimming. Sometimes its a toss-up to the experience there with other people, but that won't stop us from having fun and doing some therapy by any means. Luckily, there were only a handful of people there, and again to my surprise, the ladies were nice!! The lifeguards on duty wanted to know all about Jocelyn's neck ring and my thoughts on using it. Then later, a gal that was probably about my age with a boy a little younger than Jocelyn {I overheard her say his 3rd birthday was in October}, started talking to us. She did the normal "How old is your daughter" which led to "I see she has a wheelchair. Is she able to walk short distances or does she require the wheelchair majority of the time?"

From everything that we're accustomed to in regards to the public, that was the best "getting your foot in the door" that I've experienced. She progressed her questions with inquiring to what happened in order for Jocelyn to require a wheelchair, was curious about cerebral palsy in general and what the prognosis would be for a child with this type of disability.

It would be easy to go "Geez lady, do you really want, or NEED, to know our whole life story?" But at the same time, she was a stay-at-home-mom who was also 31 weeks pregnant, probably in need of some adult conversation which I'm always game for and perhaps honestly was just curious. We ended up getting to chat for about 15 minutes. Her name was Roseanne {which coincidentally is the name of my fav old school show} and her son's name was the ever so popular Wyatt. They use to live in Iowa, her husband owned a construction company but the declining economy caused him and many others to go under with their business' so they moved to Kansas. Her husband started school again and is graduating this week with his degree in law with an emphasis in construction law. I'm not sure why I'm telling you all this except for she was easy to talk too and I learned quite a bit about her and her family as well. She ended the conversation with "If you ever need a lawyer ..." haha ... can't blame a woman for advertising for her man! :)

Then Saturday evening, while we eating at the Mad Greek {loooooove this place!}, we ran into another sweet gal named Trish. As Justin and I were enjoying our supper, and Jocie totally engrossed in her Elmo, a lady that was seated right behind me leaned over and touched my arm. Of course she caught me off guard, and as I turned around, she greeted me with a warm smile and the statement "I just have to know what type of wheelchair your daughter has!" It took me a second to realize what the lady wanted and I informed her that Jocie's wheelchair was called the X:Panda {this truly is the easiest pediatric wheelchair we've tried/seen ... and we've seen a lot! The actual seat part can easily and quickly slip into either a wheelchair base, hi/lo base or even a powered base when/if Jocelyn is able to use that feature!}. We visited a little bit about the wheelchair, I told her how much we loved it and the fact that it is pretty user friendly {meaning, it doesn't take an act of God to make a simple adjustment without having to take it in to the distrubtor}.

Trish shared with us that she adopted a 2 year-old boy, named Ethan, that sustained a traumatic brain injury from being shaken. My heart literally broke right there for two reasons: 1) because this little boy's future will forever be changed, more difficult, dramatically different; and 2) because this woman opened her heart and said "Give him to me ... I'll take him when someone else didn't want him ... I'll love him ... nurture him ... teach him ... give him my all even with all the "needs" he has ... I'm up for the task ... he can call me MOMMY!"

Trish expressed how involved Ethan was physically and how thrilled she was to meet another mom as eager as her to make a difference. Which now in hindsight, is such a profound compliment to receive, but she was so excited to share ideas and make that unique bond with another special needs mama. In the end we exchanged information and I'm looking forward to picking each others brains! :)

Then Sunday we went to Wal-Mart of all places, we ran into the sweetest ... and I mean SWEETEST ... elderly woman. We were in the craft section looking for glass glue and of course finding anything that would get Jocie excited to play with {when we go out, I try to make it an exploration opportunity for Boogie. Sometimes she loves it, and other times she makes it clear that shopping is for the birds!}.

This elderly woman was an employee of Wal-Mart and busy doing her thing when she saw Jocelyn and I. When she turned around to make sure she wasn't in our way, without any hesitation, she had this overly excited expression on her face, got to Jocie's level and started talking to her. Jocie instantly thought she was a hoot and gave lots of smiles as the ladies reward for being so nice and sincere. I was quite surprised by this ladies energy and eagerness. She freely started to talk about how she has a great-nephew in the family that is severely disable. She expressed that he was unable to eat or talk, had severe muscle weakness, at the cognitive level of a 6 month-old, etc but that he was "so awesome" and that "he was excellent at communicating even if he was nonverbal."

Trust me when I say that I have yet to come across someone of this lady's age that talked and understood disabilities in this manner. I was blown away in the best of ways! She proceeded to tell me how sometimes "Those who cannot express themselves verbally, are the best at expressing" and how "It would do us all some good to learn how to 'communicate' as well as these little guys."

Does this lady not totally rock?

Wow!!!

I'm thankful for these people that have fallen into my path lately. Perhaps they were actually angels that were carefully placed there at the right moments. Aaaaahhhhh ... I like the thought of that.

Share some niceness today! And like my friend Tina blogged a few weeks ago, you might be an "angel in disguise" to someone in need.

O' Christmas Tree

We finally got our Christmas tree up!!

{There is NO WAY a real tree could hold some of these ornaments!}

The wonders of a Christmas tree!!!

When all the lights are turned off, there is nothing prettier than the glow from a Christmas tree. So after all that hard work, Boogie and I decided to play underneath it.

I absolutely love putting up a Christmas tree, always have, and normally ours is up right away but it wasn't at the top of the list year.

When we were kids, putting up the tree was a fun, all night event. It was an evening filled with hot chocolate, Christmas music, snacky foods that we didn't normally get, being silly, adding to our family "Christmas chain" and of course decorating the tree.

We had a tradition in our family where we would take tinfoil, which was cut into squares by my mom, and we would roll or twist really them tight to form it into a link. I don't remember how many links we each would make every year, but it seemed like a lot (everything seems like "a lot" or "bigger" or "longer" when your a kid though), but each link we made was then attached to the chain from the previous years. Our chain was unique, incredibly long and wrapped around our tree easily! It was simple, looked really pretty as it reflected the lights on the tree and was a fun idea for all of us to do together as a family. The days that followed our chain-making endeavor were filled with comparing who's fingers hurt the worst because we would almost get blisters from trying to roll the foil super tight!

Recently, my parents decided to break the chain apart and divide it amongst us kids to continue the tradition.

My mom and dad use to have each of us (there were 5 of us kids) sit on the couch and take turns picking an ornament and then hang it wherever we wanted. I think they were trying to teach us patience. I don't know whether it was the fact that I was the youngest, or wanted to hang them all myself (I'm thinking it was both! Ha!), but it was a challenge to watch each sibling pick an ornament, decide where they wanted it (you had to pick the "perfect spot") and then hang it. I remember on the inside I was always thinking "Don't pick that one, don't pick that one ... I want to hang that one!!" Funny the things you remember and now it brings such a big smile to my face.

Below is a picture of our house back on Matthew Road when we lived in Flordia. I was at the age where I remember this house so clearly and all the memories that were made with my family. 

***Sigh***

I really loved living there!

Also, here is a picture of the BEST Christmas year that I can remember as a kid. All five of us kids got race cars and we were beyond stoked. In fact, my sister Cindy and I were having so much fun with our race cars, that my mom thought they were too "boyish" and made us exchange them from some creepy 4ft dolls that we thought would turn into Chucky when we closed our eyes!

My husband and I are not doing my family's "chain tradition" but we do have our own tradition of getting one ornament every year that signifies something special or important that occurred that year. We have been doing this since our first year of marriage back in 2005. We now have eight ornaments that each hold a special meaning, and this year, our ornament is extra special to us.

Here are our ornaments from 2005-2008.

{2005 - for our 1st year of marriage; 2006 - a simple picture of us crazy in love; 2007 - a Blackhawk to represent Justin's year tour in Iraq; 2008 - a Christmas nurse to represent me graduating from nursing school ... the nurse is round for those extra "lbs" I put on!}

 

Here are our ornaments from 2009-2011.

{2009 - for when we found out our ego was prego; 2010 - we had two contenders: Boogies picture in a "Baby's 1st Christmas" ornament ... it was a cow because Justin's granddad raises cattle ... & the "3 Snowketeers";  2011 - a picture of all of us 3 together from when Justin was home on R&R from touring in Kuwait}

 

And our ornament for 2012??

 

Boogie's reindeer with Christmas lights!!!!! I love her sweet, little hand and finger prints. Of course I love it!!! Her hand will never be this size again! Something to be treasured for sure!!!!!!

 

Did this not turn out the cutest?

 

We even used puff paint to give the reindeer some texture. I love everything about it ... except ... they are EXTREMELY fragile. :s

 

I treasure the memories my hubby and daughter make together -- nothing is better!

Having a Baby

No, no, no --- don't put the cart before the horse. Justin and I are NOT pregnant, but I wanted to talk about a little sliver of what a "having a baby" conversation entails.

Today Jocelyn and I got to see a friend that we haven't seen in a few weeks {I won't say her name because she's kind of a private person}, but when I saw her I finally had to ask ...

How far along are you?

Simultaneously as those words were being uttered from my mouth I was silently hoping and praying to the pregnancy Gods that she was indeed pregnant!!!

Oh I know what your thinking -- "You're a woman ... you know better than to ask a woman that!"  -- and yes, I am and I do, but what my brain thought and what came out of my mouth were two totally different things.

I had my suspicions that she was possibly pregnant way back in the being of November as she looked "different," but I thought better to not ask at that point because lets face it, putting on a few "lbs" during the holidays is about as natural as breathing.

No need to hold your breath.
Her ego is definitely prego!

She explained how she hasn't really told anyone {I'm guessing its more her clients/patients that she hasn't been telling} because she felt like some might not really want to know or care {what person would that be? NOT THIS GIRL! ;D}. She also expressed that she feels defensive or more sensitive towards people because everyone {including me} asks "Are you gonna find out what your having?" and then there are always the statements that follow:

... "Oh, your having another girl? I bet your husband really wishes you were having a boy"

or

... "Oh, your finally having a boy!! You don't need another girl do ya? You know how they can be come teenage years!"

or

... "It doesn't matter what your having as long as he/she is healthy!!!"

Do any of these seemingly innocent remarks/comments sound familiar? I think we are all guilty of saying, or thinking, them at some point or another. When these types of comments are made, I believe most people are saying them with a kind, unknowing heart.

My friend explained how if/when she hears these kinds of comments, that it gets under her skin and since she realizes her sensitivity this pregnancy, that she may choose to not find out beforehand what they are having.

I found myself lingering on the last statement of how "It doesn't matter ... as long as he/she is healthy."

I know for a fact that if Justin and I decided to have another child, that so many people unknowingly would say "Lets make this one a healthy one" or "Do all you can to prevent the complications you had last time," or "The sex of the baby doesn't matter ... we just want him or her healthy."

Are those "horrible" comments for a person to make?
No.

But what a comment like that does do, is make parents like us feel like we "messed-up" with our first child, that our first one is "defective" or like we need to try again so we can have a "normal one."

Often times special needs children are "healthy" but require a lot more care in the form of therapy, doctors, medications, etc and obviously some more than others. Yes, Jocelyn has cerebral palsy, but we see her as healthy!! And if we got pregnant again and that baby wasn't seen as "healthy" by society standards, what would that mean? That's right, nothing! We would, just as I think any other parent would, love that child just like we do Jocelyn!!

With this friend being pregnant and my friend Vanessa just giving birth to her precious, chunky son ... I honestly felt a little bit of baby fever this afternoon.

I knoooooooooooooooooooooooooow! Can you believe I just said that?? I'm sure between them two and Justin's granddad pulling me aside and having a little pep-talk with me about how "I know its a personal choice, and you can tell me to go to hell, but I wanted to encourage you guys to at least think about it" ... that the baby thought entered, and was slightly entertained, in my head today.

So all the way on our drive home I kept thinking perhaps ... PERHAPS ... it would be nice to have another child, and my mind wondered to baby la-la land. Then after about 10 minutes of baby dreaming, my mind snapped back into reality, back to our real world, and the answer was no, no, NO!

I am surprised that my mind even wondered there and maybe that's a sign that we are starting to find more and more balance in our lives {even if its chaotic, but isn't everyones?}, but at least that tells me that I am starting to grow in this journey of ours and see beyond our immediate circumstances.

I'd say that's a positive thing!

But we still won't be doing the baby thing ... at least not for a LONG while!

Why yes, I do smell delicious!

... My face that is!!

Yesterday while Jocelyn was napping, I looked at my "To Do List" and thought ...

"I have a million things to do around here and I only have an hour!!"

 

And then my second thought was "No worries, I'll not only knock off some items on my list, but I'll do it while getting beautified with a scrumptious homemade face mask!"

 

One of my newest sites to visit is DIYconfessions. On this site, this crafty little gal had a quick face mask recipe that only had 3 ingredients. THREE!! And wouldn't you know it, I had all of them in my cupboard ... SCORE!

 

The Ingredients:

1. Honey (2T)
2. Cinnamon (1 teaspoon)
3. Nutmeg (1 teaspoon)

 

Yep, that's it!

 

In case your wondering, honey and nutmeg are great for soothing acne scars, preventing infection and are natural anti-inflammatory agents that can reduce swelling and redness of the skin. Awesome for me because I'm always a little extra "rosy" it seems. The extra bonus to using cinnamon and nutmeg is that they both gently exfoliate your skin when you wash the mask off and smell terrific!

 

You may have never heard of Manuka Honey {it's kind of pricey ... hence why I have the off-brand of spices Ha!}. Not only does this type of honey have a uniquely fantastic taste and texture, but it also has "magical powers." What kind of magical powers you ask? Well, its been proven to assist with the following:

1. Has a higher quantity of methylglyoxal (MG) component because the nectar of the manuka flowers have a higher concentration. What does this mean? Just like with other honey, it has antibacterial powers but like on steroids! So, stronger (natural) antibiotic effect.
2. Certain manuka honey, like the one above, has Unique Manuka Factor (UMF) which is potent enough to be therapeutic at ratings of 10 UMF or above.
3. Fabulous for treating minor wounds &/or burns.
4. Reduces high cholesterol & systemic inflammation.
5. Treating gastrointestinal problems {once of "safe" age, we started giving this Boogie to help her reflux ... it works!}

Okay, so enough of the history lesson! Once all the ingredients have been mixed together {I found that it makes enough for 2 masks so maybe a friend would want to do it with you, or better yet, the hubs?}, use clean fingers and apply over face. Let the mask work its magic for 30 minutes and then rinse off. I applied a moisturizer afterwards because my face is always dry, but you wouldn't have too.

 

Want to see what it looks like on?

{I told you it tastes good! Seriously, I got it pretty close to my lips and without even

thinking about it, I kept "tasting" my mask while I was cleaning!! Ha!}

 

I only used water and a washcloth to rinse the mask off. There was no left over residue on my face, and it felt smooth and refreshed. What was left behind, was a pleasantly faint scent of honey and spices. Everytime I moved around I could smell my face!! How often does that happen?? haha

 

Go ahead - try it - you know you wanna!!!

 

Oh, and if you do, I so want a picture! :)