It has been a smidget past two weeks since we took away Jocie's pacifier.
Yep, bye-bye sweet paci.
We realize that many people often think
"Uhm, it's about time ... she's 3 1/2 years-old!" In fact, I've had people tell me this while out in public which gets them a
"mind your own damn business" in return.
Sorry, I don't mean to be rude but
YOUR being rude!
So yes, we know Jocie is rather old for having a paci, but things simply are not the same with Jocelyn. We gave her a paci when traveling
(this stopped her from chewing her clothes or arm) and sleeping, but it was also incredibly effective when doing difficult school-related tasks.
Amazingly enough, the paci helped Jocie to be centered, organized, focused and able to perform. The use of the paci could be compared to people who chew gum, bite on a pencil or twirl their hair.
Two weeks ago we went to the dentist and they of course brought up the use of the paci. Mind you, that's not what I had in mind to discuss. I really didn't want to hear what they had to say, but of course they needed to express their concern and knowledge behind weaning her pacifier usage.
Like a good girl, I listened to their "paci-speech" and then turned the attention on the real reasons we were there.
I took Jocie to the dentist mainly because of her discolored teeth. It sounds terrible and maybe gross ... how ever you want to say it ... but since Jocie barely eats anything by mouth and because of the meds she was on related to her prematurity, her teeth are discolored ... green in fact :( ... and feel rather thin or brittle despite her healthy diet.
So many unexpected things have come about for Jocelyn because of her prematurity, and having dental issues, is not an area of concern that we anticipated. And if being truthful, out of everything we've had, and continue to have, teeth issues are not at the top of the priority list. However, with saying that, I thought I was the only one that noticed her discoloration. I mean after all, daddy didn't even notice. Well I was wrong. Jocelyn's physical therapist noticed a few weeks back and commented on how green they were. I of course told him not to say that too loud because I don't know if it would hurt Jocelyn's feelings or not, but just in case, I want to be sensitive to the matter.
I told the dentist that we brush them day and night with no results. Jocie is unable to spit out her toothpaste, so typically the toothpaste does not have fluoride in it. After we brush her teeth, we apply MI paste. This paste is a flavored topical product
(Jocie likes the melon and tutti-frutti) that contains vital minerals which are directly deposited onto the surface of the teeth. The paste helps to buffer acids produced by bacteria & plaque, and what we mainly started using it for so many months ago, was that it not only desensitizes her teeth, but it also whitens them.
Its frustrating that even with brushing routinely and the usage of MI paste, Jocie's teeth are still green and sickly looking.
People unfortunately get judged by their teeth ... by their appearance in general. Right, wrong or indifferent ... it happens no matter what.
Jocelyn doesn't need anything extra to make life harder than it already is.
Three questions that I had for the dentist:
- What can we do about the discoloration of Jocelyn's teeth?
- How do I ensure that Jocelyn's teeth aren't gnarly looking like so many adults that have special needs?
- When, and how, do we go about getting her teeth cleaned and thoroughly checked?
The dentists answer to question #1.
He recommended that we continue to use the MI paste and brush twice a day with the goal of brushing a full two minutes. Brushing teeth is a HUGE sensory issue for Jocelyn. She hates it, but we still do it. A long time ago, I started counting out loud for each area of teeth we brushed. This simple task actually helps Jocelyn because she knows there's an end, but we are often lucky to get a full two minutes of thorough brushing.
It was also recommended that we use the teeniest-tiniest amounts of toothpaste that has fluoride and a mouthwash in one. The brand they recommended was
Colgate Children's 2-n-1 Toothpaste & Mouthwash. No joke, it only takes a smear to foam like crazy.
The other thing that both him and his staff recommended was a children's
Phillips Sonicare toothbrush.
This is what it looks like.
Now, lemme tell ya, this little toothbrush is NOT cheap. When they showed the toothbrush to me and bragged on all the cool stuff it does (ie its rechargeable, the toothbrush head is specifically designed for small sensitive mouths, it has different brushing modes, a timer to indicate when to switch the area being brushed and when its been a full two minutes, etc), I said
"You're going to have to do more than that to convince me that a $60 toothbrush is going to help Jocelyn ... and how do these differ from the ones I can buy in the local store for a lot less money."
I don't care when things help other kids
(I don't mean for that to sound bad), but I'm interested if something is going to
SPECIFICALLY be
BENEFICIAL for
JOCELYN!
The dental assistant then told me that this would help Jocelyn's teeth be cleaned much more efficiently since (A) its hard to brush her teeth for longer than a minute or so, and (B) because its equipped with a microprocessor that allows the bristles to move three faster than other electrical toothbrushes.
I played with the demo, asked more questions, got more answers and apparently all the moons aligned just right because wouldn't you know it ... I bought the damn thing!
Shockingly, two weeks later, Jocie's teeth truly are CLEANER and WHITER! Seriously, a product that works. Amazing! haha And another perk? It comes with one small and one large bristle head so now I use it too. I like that!
The dentists answer to question #2.
He recommended to help decrease Jocelyn's chances of having deformed teeth waaaaaas ...
DING DING DING!
Lose the paci! I was instantly annoyed and thinking back, I hope my scowling eyes didn't shine through, but I'm positive they did. I'm terrible at hiding my emotions.
But, I knew he was right.
Perhaps taking away the paci will not prevent anything at all, but I know in my mind that allowing Jocelyn to continue to use the paci surely isn't going to help anything either.
I tried convincing myself it really wouldn't matter if she continued to use the paci. That she doesn't even really suck on the thing rather than chews on the back plastic part. I then told myself that she hardly even uses it anyways. The second I had that thought though, a different part of my brain goes
"Well, if she hardly uses it anyways, then it won't be hard to take it away now will it?"
But perhaps the pictures above is prove enough that she in fact used it plenty! :( Give me a break, its the one of few things she enjoys. Maybe that made it all the more difficult to take away. Either that, or maybe somewhere down deep taking the paci away makes her seem more grown-up? I don't know.
After going back and forth in my head on the way home, I decided no, she will no longer have the paci and
"since she doesn't really use it, and not that often, this will be a breeze."
Boy was I wrong!
Jocie didn't scream and cry for the paci, but oh my goodness ... the look in her eyes was so insanely difficult for me as if asking
"Why mommy? Why can't I have my lovie paci?." Never have I seen those brown eyes of hers widen, plead and beg for something. Or when I was holding her to give night time kisses and she kept reaching in the air only to grab nothing. Or how she would stared up at me and made her fishy, sucky face as if she knew that'd win me over ... and it did ... ALMOST!
All I could do was give her kisses and explain. Daddy almost caved and I swore he'd get a beating if he did. And now, two weeks later, it's easier. She has times where she wants it as a soother, or that it would REALLY help to calm and organize her, but no. We will find other coping mechanisms.
To help with this transition, Grandma Garlow has already made her a cloth elastic necklace with a dangling terry cloth chewy that I think will help. I can't wait to try this "chewelry" out.
The dentists answer to question #3.
When the dentist answered my third question ...
"When, and how, do we go about getting her teeth cleaned and thoroughly checked?"
... I wasn't a very happy camper.
Come to find out, if you have a child that's not willingly to participate in a dental cleaning, they simply don't get a cleaning. I said "What? How can that be?"
In my mind I'm thinking about how I make Jocelyn do all kinds of things that she doesn't want to do. I have too. If I didn't, she would never do anything and she wouldn't be where she is today. I hate that I have to hear her scream and cry, and I wish like Hell that I could just be MOM and not all the other roles I have to play, but that's not reality. I want to see Jocelyn succeed.
So with a dental cleaning, I'm thinking, how is this any different than anything else I have to do? I've held Jocelyn down when they've tapped her brain or have done other procedures, and doing a dental cleaning is far less of a big deal.
But no, they won't do it.
I asked why they can't put a mouth piece thing in
(I don't know the technical term) to keep her lips open and then buzz the teeth with the polishing stuff and take a good look. Nope, they don't do that.
Feeling myself grow increasingly irritated I finally said,
"Sooooo we just wait until her teeth seem like they are falling out?"
I know I was dripping with sarcasm but seriously, I'm not okay with that. They then told me how when dental work needs to be done, they take them to the local hospital, sedate them, clean their teeth and then perform all the necessary work. Ok, I can understand that but HELLO! If you don't look at them between now and God knows when, how do you know when work is needed? If Jocelyn could tell or show me that her teeth hurt, that would be a different story, but she can't. Therefore, I need a TRAINED PROFESSIONAL to tell me??!!
Man I was so frustrated ... still am ... and I'm not sure what the answer is but I'll figure it out like always. I was definitely surprised by the answers and approach thats taken with children like Jocelyn and I'm surely not impressed.
I'm not one to quit though, so this little hurdle will be jumped soon enough like all the others. In the meantime, I'm pleased to see great improvement with the new toothbrush and that we are winning the battle against the paci addiction. :)
