Often times, so many of my wonderful friends and family
(out of true meaningful, loving hearts) say the following things ... but how I feel is ...
And last Friday ... whew! ... it was a big day for all of us.
I had to put my big girl panties on and ...
In case your wondering, that "fear" that this mama had to punch square in the face, was the fear of trying another preschool for Jocelyn. I have waaaaay more than just one little thing that I fear when it comes to Boogie, but us mamas worry about
EVERYTHING it seems.
In regards to preschool fears and Jocelyn:
- Not being with her
- Not being mobile = dependency & danger
- Being around other kids
- Getting hurt
- Shunt failing yet again; seizures
- Having her scared of everything
- People not understanding her or being mean
- G-tube getting pulled out
- Being in her wheelchair the whole time
- Lack of therapy & those techniques being implemented in the classroom
- Not getting what she needs to thrive
- Lack of patience and understanding to help her succeed
- Poor communication with both her and I
- Not believing that she can learn & it affecting her cognitively
- ...the list is endless people!
And
PLEASE nobody tell me that if I'm trusting in God, then I wouldn't be fearful! That is a joke and I will hate you forever for even saying that to me. Ok, not really, but I find it supremely annoying when people say that crap to me! We all worry, stress, freak out, etc and yes, even the "best follower of Christ" does it to
...(now I will come off my soapbox).
So yes, regardless of the fears, we are trying another preschool. Why? Because I need to see if they can offer something for Jocelyn that I can not. We obviously have no other children
(and we won't be), and her interaction with people other than her therapists and the gazillion appointments that we have, she is never around other little kids. I need to see if being around other kids makes a difference for her, get her accustom to different environments, people, places, ways of doing things, etc. If this decision to try another preschool proves to be beneficial, I will know it. I trusted my gut with our last preschool experience and my gut was right. I also know that I have to give everyone ample time to get to know Jocelyn, how to help her, etc ... and I
WILL do just that!
I've already given myself the pep-talk I need in order to ensure that I do not hinder a potentially positive thing. But you bet your ass that my eyes are open even more this time!
We had our IEP
(this is short for an Individualized Educational Plan) meeting just this last Friday and it went pretty well. It was long ... 2 full hours ... but I think, and hope, we all understand each other, and truly want to see Jocelyn succeed.
Not everyone was present for the meeting
(ie the physical therapist which I feel is highly important of course), but Jocelyn's teacher, the OT, Speech, Nurse and my side-kick Sarah were all present. It was such a comfort to have my girl Sarah with me. She didn't really even have to say much, but sometimes a persons presence and support can mean the world to someone. Thanks for always have my back hun!
The hubby couldn't be with me because he was still in Pennsylvania for military training/schooling. Throughout the two hours we discussed several things, signed papers, blah blah blah. But I do think I made a good first impression.
(First impressions are not always my strong suit! :P)
In order to be prepared as best I know how, I made cookies the night before
(because who doesn't love cookies? And, I thought it'd be a great ice-breaker ... my mama taught me right ... win them over with food buddy), but I also made a transition portfolio for each and every person there.
What is a transition portfolio?
Basically its a way to offer information to the staff to help know/understand Jocelyn better without me having to verbally say everything.
Besides, you know I would eventually get tuned out anyways!
And, its nice to have something to refer to later for additional information.
I think some of the best parts about the portfolio was that I created it as if Jocelyn was talking to them, and incorporated a lot of pictures. Its true what they say ... A picture can speak a thousand words. I wanted them to actually SEE Jocelyn doing certain things and not think that I embellished things or that she can't do certain things.
We just have to adapt and do things differently.
Here's part of what the notebook looked like.
 |
| {All the books were in a black binder and each binder already had sheet protectors inside. The page on the right is the cover page of course - J's so cute! And then on the bottom you can see where the information begins. There were 4 pages total that discussed things that Boogie likes - favorite books/songs/toys/activities - things that she's afraid of, information about going to the bathroom, getting dressed, meals, activities of daily living, how she communicates, therapy needs & expectations and then medical information} |
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| {Then there were fun picture pages showing them some of our preschool activities and a variety of other fun things that she does throughout the week. We also included documents like her most recent vision and hearing exams, and her most recent therapy notes from her PT/OT/Speech from Easter Seals Capper Foundation for added info} |
Overall, I think they loved and appreciated both the books and the cookies.
I made a total of 10 books - which contained 8 pages that I created - 2 medical exams - several therapy notes - a bit of time - and it all came to a lot of paper and nearly 2 rounds of both black and colored ink. All of which were totally worth it for helping Jocelyn.
A special thank you to everyone that helped me proof read, add, delete, etc -- you helped make this portfolio wonderful, very special and effective!!
I feel like everyone at the IEP meeting were all on the same page, understood that I was a very involved parent with high expectations, and that all I want is for EVERYONE to try their very best, be creative with their teaching/therapy approaches, include Jocelyn as much as possible, to see her as a person and not her diagnosis and to help her adjust and HAVE FUN!!
After all, its preschool!!
Not medical school!
Oh my gosh, I almost forgot! While we were meeting, we of course discussed things with the school nurse (who was actually pretty impressive as she has had 25 years of ICU experience and currently works with a lot of special needs kids, kids with cancer, etc -- so that was comforting), she asked me if I was a nurse as well. I of course told her yes. She asked if my license was up-to-date, which of course it is. Then later on, I guess she liked me enough, was impressed enough, that she told me she wanted to get me hired as a school nurse there because they will have an opening soon. She even went and got the other nursing staff to meet me and introduced me as their "new nurse!" hahaha
SAY WHAT THE WHAT?!?!?!
Would that not be the most glorious thing in the world?? I could practice a bit, make a little bit of money and most importantly ... BE IN THE SCHOOL WITH JOCELYN!!!
It might be an LPN position (so it'd be less pay) but seriously, you think I care about that? NO WAY!! I'd get to peek in on Jocelyn whenever and just know that I'm right there for the "what ifs!"
If its meant to be, it will come to pass, but I left there feeling pretty good all around.
Many blessings!
We will only be going for a few weeks as summer is right around the corner, but praying these next few weeks are a time of discovery, fun and growth that will set a positive tone for the next year to come.
We start Tuesday March 26th!!
