Negative vs Positive

Today, I’m reminded how much all of us are affected by others’ attitudes. Whether we are surrounded by negativity or positive vibes, no matter what, we are affected in some way or another.

I absolutely hate that a person’s negative words or actions seem to resonant the loudest. Some say negativity has a more significant impact on us because of our brain and the fact that we are partial to negative input and more responsive/sensitive towards it.

I’ve noticed that sometimes these hurtful “things” stay with us day after day, years, or even a lifetime. I read on a friend’s Facebook wall today “stop holding on to what hurts and make room for what feels good.” You read something like this and say “man, I know that’s so true and you would feel so much better if you could actually do this.” I think a person could do this, but it would be no simple task.

Sometimes I don’t know how to get past nasty people and their disgusting comments or the way that they look at Jocelyn and I as if we have multiple heads. Yet on the other hand, some days these things don’t even faze me. So I ask myself, why is it that some days I want to rip someone’s head off and other times just smile and almost pity them?

I’ve always heard it takes five or more positive comments or actions to cancel one single negative. Are you kidding me? When you truly think about this, it’s no wonder so many of us have hurting hearts and harbor resentment or anger. Our brains like to hit instant replay several times a day just to remind us of that person (one that is close to you or a complete stranger) of exactly why you are ticked off, should give them a piece of your mind or have nothing to do with them anymore.

Many of my friends know just how many rude people that we have encountered this past year, and its enough to make you bitter and not want to meet or talk to anyone that is not directly in your close circle of family and friends. The reality is that these people have always been in my life, they are in all of our lives. I have concluded that the world is filled with people just waiting to see how they can hurt you, and it will be forever this way because our world is sinful.

My heart has never been as sensitive as it is now, and I believe all that change the day I found out we were pregnant and became a mother. I’ve never loved the way I love Jocelyn, never had so much pure amazing joy, so much pride and admiration, never wanted to fight for something so near and dear to me, never would stare anything in the face and be damned if I wouldn’t protect her to the death. I believe children soften your heart, make you vulnerable and see things more clearly.

Thankfully, as with sin there is light, and that light can be oh so good!

Today I was reminded, repeatedly, of how a person’s words and actions can be so delightful and uplifting, rather than hurtful and destructive, and that was so refreshing.

Act 1 – A Wal-Mart staff member helped me load several cases of water into our cart and I gave no indication that I needed help, or that I was going to be getting multiple cases. Then, when we were checked out, the cashier was so sweet to Jocelyn and asked if she could have a sticker for her shirt.

Act 2 - The CVS Pharmacist greeted both Jocelyn and I by name, and genuinely talked to the both of us with no urgency in her voice. Meaning, we felt like she really cared and we weren't just a number, or like we were cattle being rushed through the line just to get to the next customer. She not only asked how we were doing in general, but how our move to our new home had been going, if Jocelyn’s hip pain had improved and if there was anything she could do to help.

Act 3 – I left my keys in the cart at the Merc and a customer ran after me to ensure I got them back.

Act 4 – When we hit up our last destination spot, we ran into an old Dillions employee, her name is Tish, who over time has become our friend. She remembered so many things we talked about months ago and followed up on everything. She stood there in the middle of the busy isle to tickle and kiss on Jocelyn which of course Jocie loved.

Act 5 – Once we finished shopping, we had an overloaded cart, and a young cashier opened a new check-out line, zipped us right through and had such a pleasant attitude.

Those were the first five acts of “goodness” or "positivity" that popped into my head as I’m typing. This just shows me that there are probably equal amounts of positive and negative things in this world.  So I ask myself, which one do I want to see the most, allow myself to listen to, what do I want to be driven by? I know each day will bring a mixture of both, but perhaps it really is time to “stop holding on to what hurts and make room for what feels good.”

Hippotherapy

With Jocelyn having cerebral palsy, one of the many therapies that she receives is hippotherapy. Many people do not know what hippotherapy is and what it can do for a person.

Hippotherapy, or horse therapy, is actually a form of physical, occupational and speech therapy all wrapped up into one entity. People usually ask me "why do they call horse therapy hippotherapy?" In Greek, hippos means horse, hence hippotherapy refers to therapy treatment aided by a horse.

Cerebral palsy is such a blanket term used for any damage or disorders, that can occur at any point in any person's life, which typically involves the brain and nervous system. Because these systems are affected, a person can experience difficulty with movement, speech, vision, hearing and sometimes cognition. The diagnosis cerebral palsy is a blanket term because there are so many different forms: spastic, athetoid or dyskinetic, hypotonic, ataxic, mixed, etc. It only gets more complicated when you break down the type of cerebral palsy into subcategories such as hemiplegia, quadraplegia and so forth.

In regards to Jocelyn, she has quadrapelgic spastic cerebral palsy which simply means all four of her extremities are affected. In the future, this diagnosis might change as she grows, develops and as everyone gets a clearer picture of how her diagnosis actually manifests. This diagnosis of course is not all inclusive with everything she has going on, and maybe at some point I'll go into all that, but as for now, I'll get back to chatting about hippotherapy.

During hippotherapy our therapist, which is the lovely Peggy Keller out at LMP Farms in Baldwin City, uses the horse as a therapy tool to improve Jocelyn's nerological function, sensory processing, strength, coordination and endurance.

The two horses that we have used are named Al and Webster. Al is the easier of the two horses as he has a more even gait, not as wide and more evenly tempered. We've only rode Webster a handful of times for a "challenge" as he is wider and has a longer stride (which means more trunk control is required and Jocelyn has to work harder). Sometimes Jocelyn is up for the challenge and other times not, so its nice having two different options.

Prior to our riding sessions, together we have learned that "revving-up" Jocelyn's body has significantly improved her performance once on the horse. Jocelyn requires a lot of additional sensory input than other children which means foods need to have bold flavors, drinks need to be colder, bath water warmer, activities need to be rougher (but safely of course) and so on. For purposes of prepping her for hippotherapy, Peggy puts her on these platform vibrators that she uses to change/correct the gait of her horses. I'm trying to find a way to make something like this for her at the house so we can benefit from it everyday, but I haven't came up with anything yet. Jocelyn loves deep pressure and vibration, so this works wonderfully!

{Jocelyn sitting on the vibrating platforms with Peggy}

One of the wonderful things about hippotherapy is that it is the only therapy option that provides a three-dimensional movement for Jocelyn which simulates the pelvis movement in humans when we walk. What does this mean? This means that the natural movement of the horse stimulates and encourages Jocelyn's pelvis to move like we want and which she often does not get otherwise.

Peggy does an exceptional job at grading Jocelyn's body movement and attempts to only offer the least support required. Again, sometimes Jocelyn is strong and coordinated needing minimal assist, and other days Peggy has to prompt her more often and with a greater degree of correction to get Jocelyn's body to perform what we are wanting.

Jocelyn rides in all different types of positions as well in an attempt to gain different goals. For example, she rides traditionally with facing forward and sometimes with arms at her side, or backwards to assist her with coming up over her pelvis more, or lying on her back and even on her tummy which you see below.

There are many things I continue to learn about hippotherapy that I find very interesting. I believe there is no one therapy that is or will be a miracle cure for our little sweetness, but I also believe that by putting our feet into a variety of therapy will only help her in body and mind.

Sometimes its hard to take pictures because the flash can easily scare the horses. This week I took took some short video clips to share, but only going to attach one. I'm always so proud Jocelyn's efforts and blessed we've been given an avenue for this particular type of therapy.

Army Wives

Last night, my girlfriends/fellow Army Wives and I, went out to supper which is always so overdo. We went to Free State Brewery on Mass Street in Lawrence and the food, beer and most importantly, the company was exactly what we all needed!!

Here are all the sweet, beautiful women!

As many military wives around the world know, it's very difficult (yet extremely rewarding) to be a wife, a partner, to a spouse that is career military. I can't count how many times I've heard "I couldn't do that!" or "Why do you guys choose this life when you're by yourself so much?" That is one of the major hardships of military life --- being alone. BUT, the days and nights alone aren't permanent and missing our husbands reminds us that we are lucky to even have someone to miss, and that we aren't afraid to make the necessary sacrifices for true love and to provide for our families.

I couldn't be more proud of women like you see in this picture for they are what stands behind and helps support the soldier that does so much for our country. Being a military wife sometimes means "doing it all" but never forgetting that our husbands are making similar, yet different, sacrifices themselves.

Thank you so much ladies for being in my life and navigating this journey together. Just when we think things are getting back to "normal" (whatever that is right?), something changes, and I'm thankful we are all here to help each other along the way.

I laughed so much last night my cheeks hurt --- you can't buy that!



New Pool

After we moved into our new home, one of the things on our Summer Bucket List and of EXTREME importance (extreme I tell ya), was to get an above ground pool for Boogie to play and swim in (and sssshhhh, even to do therapy in without her realizing it). Like so many kids, she is such a little fish and would stay in there forever if we would let her. I love how much freedom she has in the water to wiggle, move, have fun and just be a typical kid! Watching her in the water, one would think she could just take off on land. Sadly no not yet with yet being the key word!! ;)

A few weeks back, I decided I was going to go get one and Justin didn't really seem to care one way or the other. He specifically said "It's up to you. Get whichever one you want." So, taking his advice, I did just that. Apparently he did have an opinion and took my selection back and made an exchange. He suffered the consequences though because that original pool was HUNDREDS of pounds (I did feel terrible though because he about hurt himself getting it exchanged).

On a super duper hot Saturday, Justin and his friend Rick sat outside for a long while and got the pool all set up and ready for us to enjoy. It's beyond wonderful having a husband that simply wants to give his girls the world and see us smile!!

This pool did prove to be the better pool as the ground didn't have to be completely level, and it was probably all around easier to set up. Boogie and I didn't get into the pool until the next day (these things hold a gigantic amount of water it seems), but it was of course instant love!

{Our 1st swim 6/27/12}

Boogie loves being thrown up into the air!

Nearly everyday we have spent an hour, maybe more, out here and have enjoyed every minute of it! Again, living out in the country and having SPACE has been a blessing in more ways than I can count.

{Seeing her smile is worth every penny for that pool!!!}

Planking

We had a follow-up today at the Children's Mercy Special Care Unit like we so often do, and while I was talking with our good friend and Nurse Practitioner, Jocie kept distracting me with her new "trick." I kept saying to her "Do you want to sit up?" and she would look at me with this tremendously excited face and her body would go berserk. I couldn't tell if she was just being silly, or proud of herself for doing something new and different.

Jocelyn was PLANKING!

At first I thought maybe I was just imagining things because she only did it twice (take a word from the wise --- just because you only see it once, or even twice, doesn't mean its a fluke, 'chance' or 'luck.' If you see it, if only once, it truly happened!).

The rest of the day Boogie didn't do it again until in the evening when daddy came home. We were just hanging out, relaxing and talking about our day when Boogie again became super excited and started planking over and over. She could only hold the position for about 2 seconds and couldn't lift her hips at the same time, but HELLOOOOO!

SHE WAS ROCKIN' THOSE FEW SECONDS!!!

She gets super camera shy (shocker I know), but the second you turn that sucker on, she stops whatever she's doing.

Being the quick and sneaky mama that I am though, I caught her awesomeness in action!

A few times she even got higher off the ground than this but my crappy camera just wasn't fast enough.

I know that a lot of the healthcare providers want Jocelyn to learn the "correct body movements/mechanics" and trust me, I do as well, but I'm a huge advocate of the idea that you can't learn movement if you aren't allowed to learn to move with what you have. You've got to start somewhere and build upwards.

Justin and I were so excited when she kept doing this over and over! Seriously, you would've thought Jocelyn won an Olympic race! We couldn't help ourselves because she was working and trying so hard and besides, it's a fantastic way to build strength and endurance in her upper body, abs, back and stabilizer muscles.

On a side note, we found out today during our check-up that Jocelyn is in the 89th percentile for height/weight ratio for her age. Can you believe that?? She's one heck of a hot mess --- a super cute, healthy, hefty hot mess!

J-Casso!

After a busy morning of waking up before 5am (by courtesy of Miss J of course), watching cartoons, eating breakfast, hand painting, a good hosing down in the bath, and bike riding at the lake...

THIS MOMMY IS TIRED!!!

I just laid Jocie down for a nap as she's been up for 6 hours already (I should take a nap too), but I've got to get some cleaning done, maybe knock out a few CEU's and wanted to share our painting project that we did this morning while I had a chance

We decided to do some finger/hand painting to make some wall art for Jocie's soon-to-be therapy room (squuuuueal!).

We started out with a plain foam board (found it at Dillions no less), and used masking tape to spell out Boogie's name. We settled on Jocie as that was easier to fit and well, we call her that a lot anyways.

Here's what we started with:

I got all the supplies we needed out and ready for Jocie to have fun:

Unfortunately, for some reason, Jocie was having a really difficult time trying to floor-sit as she seemed to be having pain, muscle spasms in her back &/or legs, or it could've been her hips as they continue to try and dislocate (that's a whole other story). However, mommy wasn't going to quit because I knew she'd have fun, so I changed it up and we used her Kaye therapy bench with an attached posture system to help her so she didn't have to do quite as much work on her own.

Ok, so now that we had everything we needed and Jocie was more comfortable, it was time to get the party started!!! Enjoy the photos below! ;)

{Sequence? Hand in paint, touch board, touch face & wait "what is this crap??"}

{She started getting into it faster than I thought she would --- its a sensory thing}

{Following directions when mommy said "let's get some more yellow paint." What a big girl!}

{Busy doing her thang!}

 {The aftermath --- Oh Mylanta!!! Come help me!}

 {Our little proud peach!}

 {It really turned out beautiful! She did the WHOLE thing HERSELF!}

{Once it was dry, I removed the tape --- Taaaa Daaaaaaah!!!}

I'm thinking we have a future Picasso...I mean J-CASSO...on our hands! ;)

Independence Day

HAPPY CELEBRATION OF FREEDOM DAY!!!

We had an absolute excellent day! After starting the day with a fab run, we all ate breakfast, got cleaned up and headed to the Spirit of Kansas Car & Craft Show at Lake Shawnee.

There were so many fabulous cars to look at, and it was hard to pick which ones we liked best. I soooooo badly wanted to touch and sit and drive them...but of course...no touchie touchies! Boo! I kept telling Jib "this one's begging me to drive it" and "this one's screaming come try out my seat and listen to some oldies." I'm pretty sure he was embarrassed the whole time.

Here is one we both totally loved!

{The paint job on this Shelby Cobra was crazy cool!}

{There were several Bel Air's, but this one in particular was my favorite.

She was such a beauty! Clean, sleek and with classy interior.}

{One of Jib's car picks was this cherry Deuce Coupe.}

 

While we were drooling over the cars, at some point I squatted down to get a better look at something when out of nowhere my leg was grabbed by something which then suddenly darted off. I instantly panicked because I thought "whoa, was that a dog that wrapped its legs around me? Or wait, was that a rodent because it darted off so quickly." My heart instantly started beating out of my chest because then BAM! This animal jump right on my chest and scurried up my shoulder and started playing with my ponytail!!! I thought I was literally going to crap my pants!

 

I'd like to introduce you to Gabrielle Tefft.

 

She was the sweetest, most friendliest, yet oddly terrifying little firecracker that I've ever seen. I was so startled and surprised, that it was almost difficult to enjoy interacting with her. She has her own facebook page https://www.facebook.com/#!/gabrielle.tefft.1?sk=wall (isn't that the cutest thing), and the guy even got her to sign her 'business card' for me (that's what you see her about to do in the picture above). How does she 'sign' her cards you ask? She scruffs them up with her little hands which leaves black marks - ingenious!!!

I think she really liked me because she was bouncing everywhere and crawling all over me. At one point I had to kneel on the grass because with her tornado speed, she would be dangling from my hand, then squirreling around my leg and then suddenly was back on top of my head in 15 seconds flat!

After looking at the cars, we walked around all the craft vendors and we saw one really interesting lady that made her living doing spray paint art. When we talked to her, she told us how she made her living solely by going city to city and state to state simply selling her art. I imagine at times the cash flow is good and then other times poor, but she obviously loved what she did for a living and was truly gifted.

{Here she was doing her thang! She explained how she made her art backwards, meaning, she would spray paint the colors/images of what she wanted in the foreground first, then layer colors/images over those. In between colors she lit the whole board on fire to quick dry the paint - made for great showmanship - Either way, it was super neat to see.}

{Isn't this amazing? She makes those green cave-type images by placing plain paper over the paint and then does a rubbing, pulling method to remove the top paint to reveal the paint underneath. Hard to explain but even Jib thought she was awesome and he's not even into "artsy" stuff.}

We were some of the first people to arrive to the show, so after over an hour in this crazy heat, it was time to take a break and drink some water.

{I am such a lucky woman!}

The last stop that we had to make before leaving for much needed naps, were the yummy vendors. We weren't really hungry at only 10:30am, but we had to check out what they had because you don't get those kinds of foods everyday. We settled on trying our first FRIED TWINKIES. Yes, they were mad sweet and greasy, but they were worth every single calorie!!

{Even though this tasted creamy and buttery, we should've split one! Only 30 minutes later we both felt like that Twinkie weighed 50lbs in our stomachs and we were slightly nausea hahaha}

After a nap for Boogie and some relaxing for us, we spend the hottest part of the day indoors just being lazy and spending it together. Once things cooled off, we went swimming in the pool and then we broke in the new grill with some delicious steaks and roasted potatoes. Grilled food is by far one of my top favorite things to eat! After supper, the grill was still hot, so we roasted some marshmallows and made the yummiest things on earth --- S'MORES!!! We used those campfire ones, you know, the ones that are gigantic and should never have been made. Yea, I liked using those because that made the s'mores even more of a gooey, delightfully awesome sticky mess. We ended the evening with lighting some baby fireworks with Boogie. Her favorites were the smoke bombs, hula hoops and the strobe lights. We thought she'd like the sparklers and snakes but she was less than amused.

Our 4th of July was by far the best one I've ever have. I'm extremely thankful to have my husband home to spend it with us as so many of his fellow co-workers/friends remain deployed. Many say freedom isn't free, and they are right, it isn't. Yes, military life is a choice - a calling perhaps - but its definitely a sacrifice for the entire family. Boogie and I are so proud to have a daddy with courage, strength, intelligence, defining abilities, one that knows the meaning of sacrifice and well, I guess that pretty much makes him a hero in every way!