Negative vs Positive

Today, I’m reminded how much all of us are affected by others’ attitudes. Whether we are surrounded by negativity or positive vibes, no matter what, we are affected in some way or another.

I absolutely hate that a person’s negative words or actions seem to resonant the loudest. Some say negativity has a more significant impact on us because of our brain and the fact that we are partial to negative input and more responsive/sensitive towards it.

I’ve noticed that sometimes these hurtful “things” stay with us day after day, years, or even a lifetime. I read on a friend’s Facebook wall today “stop holding on to what hurts and make room for what feels good.” You read something like this and say “man, I know that’s so true and you would feel so much better if you could actually do this.” I think a person could do this, but it would be no simple task.

Sometimes I don’t know how to get past nasty people and their disgusting comments or the way that they look at Jocelyn and I as if we have multiple heads. Yet on the other hand, some days these things don’t even faze me. So I ask myself, why is it that some days I want to rip someone’s head off and other times just smile and almost pity them?

I’ve always heard it takes five or more positive comments or actions to cancel one single negative. Are you kidding me? When you truly think about this, it’s no wonder so many of us have hurting hearts and harbor resentment or anger. Our brains like to hit instant replay several times a day just to remind us of that person (one that is close to you or a complete stranger) of exactly why you are ticked off, should give them a piece of your mind or have nothing to do with them anymore.

Many of my friends know just how many rude people that we have encountered this past year, and its enough to make you bitter and not want to meet or talk to anyone that is not directly in your close circle of family and friends. The reality is that these people have always been in my life, they are in all of our lives. I have concluded that the world is filled with people just waiting to see how they can hurt you, and it will be forever this way because our world is sinful.

My heart has never been as sensitive as it is now, and I believe all that change the day I found out we were pregnant and became a mother. I’ve never loved the way I love Jocelyn, never had so much pure amazing joy, so much pride and admiration, never wanted to fight for something so near and dear to me, never would stare anything in the face and be damned if I wouldn’t protect her to the death. I believe children soften your heart, make you vulnerable and see things more clearly.

Thankfully, as with sin there is light, and that light can be oh so good!

Today I was reminded, repeatedly, of how a person’s words and actions can be so delightful and uplifting, rather than hurtful and destructive, and that was so refreshing.

Act 1 – A Wal-Mart staff member helped me load several cases of water into our cart and I gave no indication that I needed help, or that I was going to be getting multiple cases. Then, when we were checked out, the cashier was so sweet to Jocelyn and asked if she could have a sticker for her shirt.

Act 2 - The CVS Pharmacist greeted both Jocelyn and I by name, and genuinely talked to the both of us with no urgency in her voice. Meaning, we felt like she really cared and we weren't just a number, or like we were cattle being rushed through the line just to get to the next customer. She not only asked how we were doing in general, but how our move to our new home had been going, if Jocelyn’s hip pain had improved and if there was anything she could do to help.

Act 3 – I left my keys in the cart at the Merc and a customer ran after me to ensure I got them back.

Act 4 – When we hit up our last destination spot, we ran into an old Dillions employee, her name is Tish, who over time has become our friend. She remembered so many things we talked about months ago and followed up on everything. She stood there in the middle of the busy isle to tickle and kiss on Jocelyn which of course Jocie loved.

Act 5 – Once we finished shopping, we had an overloaded cart, and a young cashier opened a new check-out line, zipped us right through and had such a pleasant attitude.

Those were the first five acts of “goodness” or "positivity" that popped into my head as I’m typing. This just shows me that there are probably equal amounts of positive and negative things in this world.  So I ask myself, which one do I want to see the most, allow myself to listen to, what do I want to be driven by? I know each day will bring a mixture of both, but perhaps it really is time to “stop holding on to what hurts and make room for what feels good.”